Hello my friends. I see the year is almost finished and I can honestly confess I am glad. I look forward to a few new beginnings and some VERY happy endings.


I am sorry I've neglected this.  I've thought of it and you so often, but I simply haven't had the heart to sit down and put "pen to paper" so to speak.  These last several weeks have found me more challenged, sad and angry than I have been in a long time. It's stunted my desire to even write; how unfortunate.


The upside? Well this is my weekend to shine.  I will have about thirty for our annual New Year's Eve blowout.  It's hard to believe we have done this for almost twenty years.  I am giddy to be surrounded by all my Yaya's and "Lakers".  I need this now more than ever. Selfish? Perhaps. But for wanting that, I will not apologize. For sharing it, I have no regret. My heart is beating just a little harder; warmer. All things considered, it feels good.


So travel well. Be safe.  When the ball drops and Dick Clark mumbles Happy New Year, know there will be fireworks abound up at Promises. This new year will be filled with that: Promises.


Save me a kiss at that magic hour and know I can't wait to share better, more spirited, creative time with you all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

The June wedding

She loved him more than she knew was possible. He occupied most moments in her day. The mere thought of his touch sent a frenzy of chills scurrying under her frock. When Silas North glanced her way, she simply melted.  Adoration wasn't the word but it was close. She stole away each afternoon to watch him practice his craft, fascinated and mesmerized by his abilities. To watch him, left her heart pounding; fear for his safety lost to the adrenaline rush of seeing him succeed. He was invincible.  Of course, she was not supposed to or permitted to become involved with him.  She had been promised to another.  Her marriage was going to benefit her family, giving them, at last, the stability and credibility that her parents had craved for most of their lives.  That was understandable, after all, they were simple carnies; considered by most to be freaks and gypsies. But at last they had settled in this small Missouri town, proceeded to grow a decent tailoring business and exotic sundry store and Leta had done them the favor of capturing the eye of Frederick Dowling, Doc Harvey's son. Things would improve in leaps and bounds after their June wedding.  But this was March, and now, Leta was enamoured by the sleek, strong, dark mystery that surrounded the trapeze artist in the visiting circus. His blond hair hung carelessly around his face; matching the attitude he seemed to carry for each town he visited. But Silas had noticed her of course; the lovely girl who came to all of his practices and most shows.  


Her hair was as dark as midnight, spilling in thick robust curls around pale skin and easily blushing cheeks.  Her eyes were of a rare brilliant green that sparkled like gems when she laughed, which was most often. She was healthy, strong, and talented.  With her parents being of such an ambiguous background; they usually called themselves "nomadic merchants", Leta had learned many things while spending her first fourteen years on the road.  She sang beautifully, could read some and was quite the handy mistress with a needle.  She was outspoken and pleasant; though not bold or impolite.  Leta would be the perfect socialite wife for Frederick who was shy and if permitted, reclusive.  Once Frederick came to call upon Leta's family after he'd seen her at church, her family had fanned the flames to ignite this beneficial romance.  It wasn't that Leta didn't like Frederick. She just couldn't love him more than Silas.


The last week of the circus crept up on them quietly. Silas would miss her delicate face in the crowd. Leta knew she would spend the rest of her nights thinking of him, waiting for the haunting whistle and the grumble of exotic lions and animals that would signal his return and for a short while, her happiness.  It was his last Saturday when he did more than smile and wave to her. He spoke and encouraged her to come again.  Which she did.  He then was brazen enough to take the time to speak with her during one of his rehearsals.  Her knees trembled and the rose in her cheeks bloomed with flourish.  He touched her gloved hand and asked her to wish him luck with his new trick.  His partner Billy would be pulled up and  swing on an opposite trapeze.  The two men would swing toward each other and then Silas would let go. ( LET GO! she marveled)  Billy would catch him.  It was death defying and Leta could barely keep her eyes open to see him. But when Silas showed her the practice harnesses, she sighed a little, clapped then swooned over his bravery.  All seemed to go well until the link twisted loose.  The cable didn't catch enough so when Silas let go of his trapeze, he was not far enough into his swing to reach Billy.  Billy grabbed anyway, their hands stumbled through the air to find each other, grab and save each other.  


Leta screamed as the man of her dreams crumbled to the ground fluffing sawdust with a sickening "whump"  The young girl ran to him, tears brimming like diamonds near her emerald eyes.  She spoke softly to Silas, begging him to listen to her, hold her hand; to keep her heart.  He did not respond. The medical assistants came and took him  to Frederick's father.  Doc Harvey and Frederick would be able to fix him if there was any fixing to be done.  Leta followed and waited.  It was past time for her to be home, but she just couldn't bring herself to walk away.  Instead she begged, pleaded and at last she made a deal with the Almighty.  


"I'll never see him again if you let him live."


Her father came to get her and take her home.  Frederick smiled and told her father what a good nurse she would make.  What a team they would be after June.  The men smiled and ushered Leta home to rest.


For three days, Silas did not move.  Frederick and Doc Harvey were convinced he never would.  Understanding that his fiancee had gotten a little twitterpated with the exotic young stranger in town, Frederick took the time to explain the dour prognosis to Leta,  hoping she would move on, taking more interest in their union.  It backfired.  She moped endlessly, wandering aimlessly through town, sighing and crying softly most of the time. Only when she was under the big top, watching the fill-in artists practice did she even show remote signs of life.  Then she would walk over to Silas' room and tell him what she had seen; how they had practiced.  On that last day, she saw him stir.  His eyes fluttered and he softly grunted in response to her.  Elated, she had called for Frederick and Doc.  They stood and waited while the miracle occurred.  He was coming back to her.  Her emotions overtook her and she touched his face.  She kissed her hand and laid it gently along his mouth. She called him her Love.  She had to go home and tell her parents the wonderful news.  She also wanted to break their hearts by confessing she was going to run away with Silas when he was better.  There would be no June wedding. Her heart would always belong to Silas.  


She dashed down the steps and into the road; along the store fronts until her breath burned in her lungs.  She just kept panting the words, almost preaching them:  "I love him"  In a split moment she decided to take the shortcut so she could get home sooner and be as brave as Silas had.  She had to tell them.  Her mind raced as quickly as her feet thundered under her as she thought of how to tell them the truth.  She heard the whistle of the train and hurried, needing to get across before the lumbering iron giant crossed the bridge.


When Leta's boot got stuck in the track, it didn't register.  She tugged and pulled shouting at the train to slow down.  The more she struggled, the more it wedged in to the gravel and between the splintering wood.  The whistle warned her to get out of the way, not realizing she was unable.  The scream of the brakes drowned out her own and as the heat of the coal, the sparks of the metal and the heaviness of her promise to never see Silas again came crashing down upon Leta, she threw up her hands and sadly accepted her fate.


There would be no June wedding for anyone.






I know it isn't very Christmassy, but it was what I got out of my research; a melancholy tale.  It's been a tough season for us but I'm looking forward to the home stretch to be spent with "framily" , and still missing those that can not be with us. The parties have begun and the stress of chores is giving way to the joy of the season.  Let's take a few moments and enjoy those around us as well as the time we share.


It's going to be hit or miss this weekend but I'll keep an eye out for you. 

In the spirit

Oh my! Has it been so long? *sigh* Sad but true.  I have not felt well and things have been landsliding in my direction under the guise of holiday spirit and fun. Let me share with you...

I remember growing up that my mom and I did most of the decorating. I miss that very much ( as I am usually the lone elf on decoration detail) My father always did the tree; perfectly. Now whether that meant we had to tie the holiday bush to the wall to keep it straight or we had to sacrifice our bodies for the Merrier Greater good; so be it.  As most of you know, I am allergic to pine. This was discovered when after crawling under a massive decorated tree to water it, it fell on top of me.  Angel Hair, pine needles and bulbs stabbed at me like a warped unholy form of acupuncture.  But the real fun came when we discovered the allergy. Itch? Not the word. Swelling? Unimaginable. Even today, I find bristles of white fiberglass embedded in my flesh. But that is Christmas Past. As is one of my favorite stories from a friend:

Her husband (then a boy) was given a little man's tool set: hammer, wrench, saw, screw driver...the works.  Well it was, after all, the family party so the adults were busy; not wanting to be bothered with the kids; at least not for a while. But that while was long enough.  After being told several times to "find something to do. " and "Play with your new toys." he did just that.  He sat quietly in the middle of that party, surrounded by capable adults and proceeded to saw off the legs of a coffee table. No one knew a thing until the second one began to collapse and all the drinks/ apps and such began to slide....

Ahhhh GREAT TIMES to remember.

Christmas Present? Well in true Griswold style, we put up our lights, but they still looked knotted after they were in the windows. "Lil knot here, Russ..." and of course my "Sparky" was dancing on that ladder as if there was a merengue playing ( I hate to watch that!)  but was still able to bark commands ... "Not that side. Don't unroll them like that..." you are getting the picture? I tried not to utter disparaging words when he climbed out on to the roof and hung upside down to clip in the lights...some of which went out the MINUTE they were hung but the replacement strand had only one plug! The other end? It just stopped. What the firetruck???  Well, to keep our marriage intact, I went inside to hang some different lights. I was fine until the chainsaw started up.  I thought he was being funny but I heard the crashing of lumber. A flash of fear and concern rumbled in my stomach, but I steadied myself and with all the control I could muster, whipped open the door, yelled: "Dinner's ready Clarrrrrk!" and then slammed it shut.  The kids began to giggle.  Then my daughter piped up with "Why's the carpet all wet ...TOOOODDD?" and in his booming radio voice I heard from all the way in the back of the house: "I don't KNOW Margo!"  I'm glad we all have a sense of humor.

But that is not our favorite source of Christmas dialogue. Everyone knows.  I'm all about Ralphie. My leg lamp sits beside me with the soft glow of electric sex when I write and the quotes fly much like pellets toward Black Bart. After our light fiasco, we headed for our tree ( before all the good ones are gone...).  I couldn't resist. Yes I did go there: shutting them all off and as I was last to get in the car said it: "Don't want to waste electricity." heehee...good stuff.

Now not to be left out, the toddlers decided to assist in their own fashion.  Bumpus hounds? Well, in their own right.  Winston pulled out the tree skirt and "Had his way with it". Felt and cinnamon are apparently aphrodisiacs for my piglet.  OH MY GOD WINSTON! PUT THAT AWAY! So in protest, he piddled on the ornaments. After washing them, my hope is that they don't smell like pee when the lights heat up. "Merry Christma---*sniff~ sniff~* What's that....?"  Birdie? She was milder. She took cinnamon pine cones into her lair and ate them like chips.  If I were a good parent, perhaps I'd have gotten her some damn dip. I just sighed and ate cookie dough then drove to the store to buy pre-made cookies for the after concert at school.  Throw in all the shopping, cards, and other stuff we elves are doing; (speaking of which, does anyone have any extra tape and ribbons? ;0   )   and it equals a lot of anxiety and stress.

Fah-rah-rah-rah -RAHHHHHH

I am looking forward to some time to write. I have tons of notes but simply can't break away to spend the time and have them come out right. *sigh* Soon we'll have our houses back in order and the bustle will be done and all of this will melt away soon like the snow ...oh wait we don't have any yet.

This is all we get tonight. I'm sorry. I'm a little dry and rushed. I miss you terribly and look forward to a slower pace soon.

Let's spend some time together this weekend maybe?
Sounds so good to me.
See you then.
Love,
Tess

Hey Ya'll
I didn't forget you, I've been really ill. Throw in a busy tough time at work, I just need a couple of days to recoup and get my feet a little steadier underneath me.

I hope you're all well. We will catch up soon and enjoy each other.

Thanks for checkin in on me. See you soon
Love,
Tess