LETTING GO

The car purred along in the hot sun along the river, humming through the little hills and turns.  Dena sat next to her mother Peggy as the air swooshed around them in scorching gusts.  It was too hot for the birds she noticed.  They preferred to sit stoically on the branches with their beaks open, panting.  Cicadas seemed to be the only ones happy with the weather.  They buzzed contentedly until she thought her brain would spew from her ears; stupid bugs.

“Air Mom? Please?” It seemed to peel a year off her life as she asked.

“We’re almost home. We can tough it out.”

Dena decided to stare at the water instead.  Even IT looked hot; a slow moving current trickled passed them pretending to refresh the bent and spindly trees that dipped low hoping for relief along its dry banks. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes against the angry humidity.

Peggy kept her eyes on the road but smiled softly as her daughter moped about the air conditioning.  It was broken again and would pump out a heat worse than that of Hell’s kitchen if she flipped the switch. Good Lord it was hot.  She glanced longingly at the river, wishing there was a soft breeze or imagining that the water would cool her if she touched it. Cicadas thrummed all around on the trees back here.  She turned the car and followed the twists of the road.  She caught sight of the second car jumping into her rear view mirror.  She saw it hug the curve as it growled up behind her.  “Asshole” she muttered. But she held her speed and pulled a little right. The idiot only had a few more yards before the double yellow line and her favorite part of the road began: a series of wicked turns and bends that always made her giddy.  She rubbed the wheel in anticipation. “This is gonna be something else.” She thought. “Hurry up you moron.” She shook her head and waited for him to rush by.

The car jerked out next to her and began to pick up speed.  Peggy was shocked to see the driver staring her down and flipping the bird at her.  She gripped the wheel and braced herself.  The other driver was yelling something.  She pulled her eyes back to the road and screamed.  A semi had come around  in the opposite direction, heading right for the angry buffoon. The passing auto cut in, too closely of course, forcing her to lock up the brakes.  Gravel and dirt stirred Dena from her doze, plinking against the door.

She sat up confused and startled.  “Mom?” it came from her in a panicked question.

There was a heavy “ka-chunk” as the offender clipped the front bumper, mashing them into the scrawny trees.  Branches smacked at her and warned her to keep all limbs safely inside the vehicle at all times.

“HOLD ON!” her mom grunted.

Seeing it in slow motion, Dena thought her mom was trying to turn the car from the inside.

The dry dirt became mud and the engine whinnied as they crashed through the trees plunging into the water. Dena remembered gasping and thinking “It’s colder than it looks.”  The car began to fill and Dena began to scream.

Peggy went with the skid until the jerk hit her. Then she fought it and the trees rushed in to scold her as did the river.  As hot and sticky as she was, she did not find relief from the curious water. She scrambled for her belt and began to pull at Dena’s.  It was jammed.  She tugged and yanked, whipping up a frenzy of curses as it mocked her, holding steady.  The water flooded in to see what was happening as the car floated out and downstream flipping back upright.  Dena was screaming. Peggy was yelling for her to help but there were too many fingers and the belt was stubborn. 

“Climb out Sweetie, come on. We have to swim out together. Come to me!” Peggy was pulling at her daughter and the belt, hoping it would come loose to permit Dena to at least crawl through it.  The car struck a stump and lurched like a sick carnival ride.  Dena wiggled free and began clinging to her mom. Peggy pulled back out of the open driver’s window when the car spun and kicked again. Pain clipped her back, crunched her shoulders. “Keep swimming to me Baby. Almost there.”  she said through gritted teeth.

In the distance, she heard sirens and shouting.  There seemed to be people everywhere along the banks crowding the road like ants.  They trailed along following her blue skylark as it was carried away. “Doesn’t anyone see me? Why won’t they help my Baby?” Peggy wondered through the pain.

“I’m stuck Mommy!” Dena’s grip got tighter.  Her leg was caught on something; pinched somewhere.  Water covered her chin forcing her to look up and breathe in choppy, frightened gasps.  Her fingers clenched like tiny vices at Peggy’s hands and arms.

“Hurry Dena. PLEASE!” The emotion of the moment was catching hold.  Peggy was yanking at Dena, her voice was getting louder. Gone was the encouragement and confidence from the beginning. She was losing her grip on Dena and she was panicking. “I’m here. Right here. I’ve got you. I’m not letting go…I’ve got you Baby.” The words were like a chant.

The car lolled once more and Peggy’s legs were clenched between the tree and the car. She was losing sight of her daughter as it filled with water, sank and threatened to pull away from her completely. She was still yelling for Dena to hang on and push toward her when a man grabbed her and tried to tear her back.  Thinking it was the jerk that’d caused, this, she swung wildly and growled “GET OFF.”  Another man raced down the bank and threw a rope jumping on top of the car.  It bounced warily and ducked below the surface.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” She wailed shoving at them.  She heard Dena sputter and spit water.  Her voice was choking.  She was drowning.  “Jesus GOD!” The car moaned and shrunk away from her, muddy water spewing from the car like a horrible wound.  Her knees cracked and a pain hotter than the sun chomped through her body.  The screech took her voice. A hole of fear ripped through her heart as she thought: If I let go, I’ll lose her. The first rescuer caught her as she fell forward on to the car; her head thucking heavily and bringing blood and thick darkness.  He pulled her free without a fight, dragging her unconscious body through the mud to one of the ambulances.  Her legs dangled uselessly, shattered by the force of the vehicle. 

The second man was joined by a third and they began to tie rope everywhere to secure the renegade Skylark.  Dena was slapping at the water.  Her fingers were just barely visible out the open window.  The force of her sobs was matched only with the gulps of water she was swallowing.  The third man let the current carry him to the side where he began to reach for her.   Her eyes were bulging with terror and no words were left for her to scream.  She simply gasped and swam; all in vain.  The stranger closed his eyes, said a prayer and pushed himself face first into the sinking car.  Dena was losing strength.  He had prayed he had enough for them both.

When she awoke, Peggy found herself shivering; the memory charging up behind her eyes to see and live over again. Her hair was still damp and there was a sharp pain in her back running all the way down her legs. “DENA” she yelped. She felt a small movement across her belly and grabbed it.  Her daughter’s bruised hand curled around her hip.  A sleepy, drug induced sigh warmed her side.  The two of them were lying in a hospital bed; their bodies soaked and broken. Peggy's face streaked with solace and naked joy at the touch of her daughter, her mere smell.  The hole in her heart flooded with relief much faster than that damned Skylark had with water.

She stroked Dena’s hair. Promising to never let go.

This one was tough for me. My mother and I were heading back from a store one afternoon when a man in a jacked up car did this to us.  We were almost dumped in the river.  Coupled with a swimming accident long ago in the lake where we spent our summers in which I almost drowned, this one is frightening, no; terrifying to me. (I was swimming under water and my suit got caught on a stump. I couldn't come up for air. I could see it and get my hands out of water but I couldn't reach it to breathe. I was convinced I'd disappear and no one would know... but I tore my suit and have an ugly scar on my chest to remind me.)  I cry remembering the fear; the darkness of water.

 Although the end was different :  my mom stepped on the gas, followed him and flipped HIM the bird calling him a...motherfiretrucker, I still remember the branches against the car, the swoosh of the water and seeing it come close enough to my face to steal my breath.

Thanks for coming.  I'll see you soon.