May the peace and spirit of the season find you happy and healthy.  

May the love of family and friends be the greatest gift you receive.

We are up north with ice on the lake and enough snow to be beautiful; giving the ultimate reason to snuggle and giggle. I've shared a perfect Christmas weekend with those close to me, but I'm looking forward to the surpise and fun of tomorrow. I miss my dear friends that are far away, glad we will be together soon; despite the Myans' predictions. Tonight is the quiet night of tradition: everyone's favorite snack, small gifts, wonderful mocktails for the kids  and of course "A Christmas Story".

come and join us. "RALPHIE!"

Merry Christmas everyone. Bless you and yours.

With snowy hugs and a warm heart,

Tess

Well, what would the holidays be without a little PES? (Pissy Elf Syndrome) I want to thank my contributor for this. I thought it was hilarious; almost as funny as the cookie recipe...

 I'll be back before the holiday. 
love n stuff.
Tess

Dear Santa, How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day. Merry Christmas, Timmy Jones Dear Timmy, Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with. Merry Christmas, Santa Claus Mr. Claus, Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. Nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite? Respectfully, Tim Jones Mr. Jones, While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve you social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days. Very Truly Yours, S Claus Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN! T-Bone Listen Pizza Face, Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your sh*t wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're a** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia. S Clizzy Dear Santa, Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything. Timmy Timmy, That's what I thought you little bastard. Santa

Here we go a-carolling

It's that time of year. We are down to the last few gifts and purchases. We have to scramble for cards if we are going to send them, finalize menus for feasts with friends and family, and the worst chore of all; wrapping. Ugh! This is the ONE thing I despise doing. At last I got the nerve up. I pulled out the boxes of paper rolls and the tub of scraps not to mention the bags of goodies I use for my bows, tape, scissors, tags and then yesterday, I locked myself away.  Like the wolf man who chained himself in a cell... I wasn't comin out until it was over. I set up shop every year and torture myself with those instruments for hours while blaring holiday music as if it would calm me or help me through. It doesn't "We Wish you a Merry Christmas". I can try though.

 Winston and Birdie sat patiently outside the door, every once in a while stuffing a paw under there and sighing heavily to subtly hint that they wanted in. "Santa Baby"...  What could they do? Lay on the pillows? I opened  the door and cautiously, they stepped in. "soooo THIS is the GUEST ROOM" they seemed to sniff in amazement.  Realizing they weren't going to get yelled at for being in the one room of the house they are normally forbidden entry, they were ecstatic; quickly parking their  furry behinds on the pillows and extra blankets laid out for them. They smiled their panty, puppy smiles.  It was too dom cute. This would be good after all. "Fa-la-la-la-lahhhh" ...

I set out the loot and took inventory. "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" was playing. I love that one. I grinned and felt the warmth of the Yule.  Yep. It looked pretty even.  I could begin. I pulled price stickers off, sticking them to a little scrap.  I unrolled the brightly colored paper. "This won't be so bad." I thought again to myself while humming "White Christmas". The toddlers agreed with many chuffs and much wagging. Gift number one was for my daughter. I laid it out and smiled, knowing how excited she'd be to unwrap it. I gladly began to fold... BUT... "O Holy Night"...
 Winston needed to smell it, both gift and paper. He sauntered in to the middle of the bed.  Birdie decided she wanted to eat the stickers from the scrap.  So she sat down on top of the scissors and pen with said scrap between her paws and began nibblin. Winston decided that would be cool to try but Birdie informed him with a snipe and a growl that "No. I'm afraid only ONE of us can do that job" so he had to go back to sniffing and standing on the paper, punching little holes in it. Only where the gift showed of course. Mariah Carey was screeching about "All I want for Christmas..." My ears were bleeding and the toddlers were whimpering. "All I wanted..." was for her to stop.

But I was not to be robbed of a tender Christmas moment. Oh no. I gently put Winston back on his blanket and took the stickers from Birdie, sending her to her blanket.  "Everyone...stay put." I shook my finger. They lowered their heads and slowly wagged "I'm sorry Mommy." Good enough. Back to it. "Silent Night"

I had success in wrapping three gifts. Winston got down and began rummaging through the bags, pulling everything out to smell and unfold it.  Birdie wanted to help eat the price tags so she laid on the rumpled gifts and gnawed those off for me; including the plastic thing OR the corner of the box. Then Wee man got tangled up in the bags and began to attack them. Unbeknownst to me, the room was filled with these evil bags, Hell bent on keeping MY dedicated Winston from his inspection job, not to MENTION the spool of tape his sister had discovered  was jsut SOOO delicious and much easier to come by than having to wait for the sticker thingies her stinky brother would point out on the gifts he was undoing and pulling from the afore mentioned evil bags. "WHAT child is this?" oh no wait... that didn't come out right...

"You're a ROTTER... Mr. Grinch...." Yeah.. That was what I was feelin when they decided to tear up the scrap paper and jump around flipping half the gifts off the bed and sending the scissors and other needed tools to the floor and under the bed JUST out of reach.  I quickly graduated to "I'm gettin NUTTIN for Chriiiiistmaaaaas... Mommy and Daddy are MAAAAAAD"... and was thinking to myself how much I'd like to put my two precious toddlers "Away in a Manger." Yep. Outside. Away. WAAAAY far away.

And as fast as a sleigh whip crack, I ushered the two playmates "dashing" in to the hall and slammed the door. Then "Hark! The Harold Angels Sing" as they cried to come back in and be good. I continued to wrap solo through the "Twelve Days of Christmas"

At last I was finished. What should have taken two hours took four. But as I opened the door and the toddlers raced in, they were overtaken by the "Winter Wonderland" of boxes and ribbons. They hopped up on the bed and I sat with them glad to be "Home for the Holidays." Cheech came in and "I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"  he thanked me for all the hard work

Maybe there is something to that music after all.

Feliz Navidad


Silliness I know. But I hope you smiled and enjoyed yourself. This is a crazy time for us all. We could use a little giggling and pointing. I will be leaving soon for the holidays. I hope we can catch up before then. Enjoy this time with those you love and who love you. It's the greatest gift we can give or receive: time.

Spirits of Knight

After our breakup, I was devastated.  I didn't sleep for months, eating little but crying a lot. I watched my face grow thin and sad, my body small and frail.  Evan did more than break my heart; he crushed my soul.  I thought about killing myself but was too afraid. If I had nothing to live for so what could I possibly hope for in death?

I moved away. I bought the house of my (our) dreams and stored just that in it.  I dreamt of a time we could have shared the decorating, though I did it alone.  I had the dream of hosting parties together and being the belle of the ball; catching Evan's eye as I flitted from guest to guest; laughing and flashing some romantic piece of jewelry or relating some silly little tale of affection between us to our jealous friends. Adoration that was palpable. 

Despair was reality.

But I persevered and made the best of my sorrowful situation.  I got a sexy new haircut and tightened up my body with exercise. I decorated my new castle and made new friends without him.  I hosted that party, buying an elegant dress that flattered my new body ~ the one he didn't want. I giggled and coyly flirted with men I wasn't interested in but enjoyed the attention nonetheless. I missed him though no one needed to know that.

The house took much of my time and I was grateful.  It taught me how to sheet rock and dry wall.  It gently coaxed me in to crown molding and plumbing.  I then became a brazen electrician, jokingly perming my hair shortly after the rewiring of my stark palace-for-one and teasing all my friends about the screwdriver in the live outlet.  My home taught me to survive and let in again, at least during the daylight.  Friends peeked in and shone through, cheering me and warming me like the furnace I had recently replaced. That's what I ended up doing; replacing my life. 

At night it was still just me and my house.  I cried to the walls and corners while it sat strong, silent.  It shifted patiently as I questioned myself, beat myself up and hated that I wasn't enough for Evan to love.  In my dreams I was soothed by gentle breezes and comforting whispers.  I would wake some nights to footsteps of a man I wished was there.  The dark played tricks on my eyes giving almost a form but when I asked or questioned, once again I was robbed.  The night swallowed it; took that form, that hope away.  Eventually, night brought the ghost to me.  For most, his memory that drifted through my halls like smoke, would prove terrifying. But for me, it was benign; just troubled sleep or panicked awakenings.  Yet, as time tocked by, I began to hear more and more; see things I know now I shouldn't have. He came closer and I realized it was he who had given me the comfort, the shoulder to cry on. He had been my knight and so that is what I called him.

He hid from me less and less, addressing me directly; seeming to enjoy my being awake.  He sought me out with gentle knocking or soft sighs.  I never really objected because I didn't want to be alone.  He was company for me.  His shadow became a fixture in the corner of my room at night; the voice often asking me if I minded he was here, if I would tell him about my life.  He in turn, spoke of the shadows and darkness; the loneliness and empty space that had become his heart and soul of the house we shared.  He told me he was grateful for my presence.  He liked what I had done with his former home.  He wished that he had known me as a person.  I laughed with him and said the same.  His shadow moved closer to my bed.  I did not object.  We spoke every night and he waited for me to come home to him.  I learned to be a night owl for Knight, comforted by his featureless shadow.  We shared heartbreak.  His true love had died tragically, suddenly, leaving him alone in a home they were to share.  I found this ironic and fitting to my own story.  But my tangible life did not stop.  I still had friends and parties.  I went to work and by all counts I thrived in my new environment.  I left the past behind and to all who saw me, was growing.  No one would believe that I was dreaming of a time when my future was still; frozen in the walls of my ... our home.  He wanted that too.  Rarely did he speak directly of my death or that he wanted it.  But we both knew and understood.  

Then one summer night my doorbell rang.  It was Evan.  He had been searching for me;  not too hard since I was only a few miles away from our old haunts.  His life had crashed.  His dreams had broken and he needed what he never realized I had brought him.  He wanted me back.  

I let him in, leading him to the Redgrave chair near the fireplace where I had spent countless hours evilly plotting his life's end or disastrous wreck. He confessed sadness and even shed a few tears.  I brought wine and sat quietly, listening while he plotted what he thought we could accomplish together in a new and happy, love drenched life together; here in our dream home.  Of course, I was elated, overjoyed and felt the rush of love crawl over me like a forest fire. I was also leery and cautious.  I did not want to give in right away or even express desire to see him again. I sat and watched; listening, pulling away when he reached for me.  He definitely had something to prove.  But for the first time, there was hope.  He shared the same expectations of glamorous parties and all the while I watched the shadow behind him grow and darken. I had always heard that jealousy was a green eyed monster but this is untrue. 

My knight and filmy confidant did not revel in the promising new beginning and that was the first night I was ever afraid in our home.  The groaning and slamming of the doors was endless.  The upper floor windows opened and drained the house of warmth, comfort.  He refused to take his place near me or speak.  Instead, there was angry growling and snarls of harm.  My favorite knick-knacks were toppled and sleep was forbidden.  For days this went on.  I couldn't wait to go to work, often times leaving early so I could rest peacefully in my car in the dark empty lot for just a few moments.

The night I invited Evan to dinner ... such a regret. He looked too handsome for words and fit too easily in to my heart and arms.  He brought my favorite wine and politely complimented almost everything I did.  He remembered things that we had done together; trips we had taken; oh he played it all very well.  I tried to ignore the slamming upstairs and the angry stomping of my knight's disapproval.  I worked around his shorting out of my stove with take out from a favorite place and dismissed his tantrum of cutting the lights with candles.  Evan found it romantic and used the opportunity to get closer.  I did not push him away. I was eager to feel his lips again and taste the sweetness of his mouth.  I trembled as he held me, caressing my body through my clothes. I shivered remembering what we could be together.  I wanted this; life, touch, love. 

 I remember the wind picking up and blowing out the candles.  I remember the shadows becoming darker and shifting.  I guess maybe I knew, but I denied it.  The growl came from the corner and although I could not see perfectly, I knew he was there; my knight.  I broke from Evan and went to the corner, angry. I was prepared to scold him like a child and tell him to go.  I was going to cleanse this house and begin again. He was about to be dismissed.  I was going to live my life. With Evan.

When I got to him, there was a glow; a soft shimmer.  The moon was the only light I had to see by.  I realized my knight had taken form.  He stood before me; sort of.  His skin was slick and damp but radiated a heat.  His limbs were gangly and knobby, bending just a little too far in the other direction.  His eyes were milky though they had once been green.  Hair was once white and there were patches of it left but most had been replaced by a peeling crusted fungus.  The mouth was small and thin holding three or four rows of tiny needle like teeth.  It spun and glared at me,  jaw dropping in a yawl of gooey decay and fury. It swiped at me and I felt my skin slice under my blouse.  warmth began to trail across my chest.  It lunged at Evan with a shriek.

Evan never saw it coming.  Quickly it leapt on him, tossing him casually to the floor.  Perched on its spindly strong legs it pulled Evan's head up by the throat and with one slice separated his face from his skull.  It began to stab at Evan viciously; whimpering and spitting with malice as I began to smell sweat and copper.  I threw up and staggered to my future.  Knight reared his head and stopped me with one look.  He stood and placed the mask on his dead, hopeful face.  He stepped toward me and held out his hand, inviting me back in to his; our "life." 

My future was settled. My heart and hope shattered.  I took Knight's "hand" and stepped into my dark, still forever. Knight made my death physically painless.

People came and cleaned up what remained of my life; threw most of it away.  Our palace stood empty for a long time.  We wandered through its empty rooms, rarely speaking, regret and death now in our way.  When the new family came, I was overjoyed, seeing a family, children.  I hovered in the shadows for a glimpse in to life again.  Knight watched them from afar, suspicious and envious of my attention to them.  He promised to leave them alone if I stayed on the outside. This was difficult since  I was happier to be with them. Their children discovered me first. I hid from them as much as I could but they were too sensitive. They weren't afraid  and enjoying our game of hide and seek. They talked to me, sharing even the smallest things with me.  They called me by my name after researching my tragic death. I am welcome they say. They call me their friendly little spirit.  I wish it were true. Enjoying the time with them makes Knight ... malicious and mischievously. I have tried to warn them. I try to stay away. We don't need any more.

Spirits of Knight.



I sat down to write this a dozen times today. I finally got the time to do it.  I like it, though it is actually more than one story smashed together. I find the lack of dialogue makes it a little long. It could use the breaking up of some communication: maybe she and Knight could have spoken... eh. It's here and overall, I'm happy.

I hope you had a great week. I know this is a busy time for all of us but let's try to get together again soon.  I want to thank my newest visitors for their kind words and look forward to calling them friends. I am glad you stopped by and have enjoyed my work. And for those of you who come over and hang out regularly, I enjoy our time together.

Until next time...Thank you.