When Company Comes To Dinner

I do want to thank you all for coming to sit at my table. It has been too long.  I hope you have the patience and state of mind to endure an old friend who wants to hear himself speak. The food I assure you will be distraction enough if you do not. So without further adieu;

I love you, Edmund as much as I can, I suppose. Well not in that faggy way. I am a man after all. Maybe it would be better to say that I hold much affection. I respect the silence while I rant on about my heart; my tortured, sad, heart; my lost loves and my disappointments.  There have been many you know. Many.Two stick out in my mind and I am lucky enough to have them here tonight as guests; Suzette and Alice. I am comfortable reminiscing in front of you Edmund as most times you pretend not to hear me. It has made our friendship unique and strong. 

When I think of you Suzette, I remember how your long hair cascaded down your back.  With a simple turn of your head and a flash of that wry little smile, I would melt inside. We were equal, you and I but I confess that sometimes I let you win out. You women are so uncertain and insecure you know.

Did you know that Edmund? Ha of course you did. You once told me during a discussion that they were not delicate creatures or playthings but equals.  

Well, you were my equal, Suzette. We sat and talked for hours about everything;  God, the power of corruption and how corruption is a nautral progression once in power. Hmmm Make you wonder about God? How has he been corrupted? How pure is the soul? Who knows for sure or gets to decide that and by the way, if you believe a lie, is it then true? Oh, excuse me, I tear up sometimes when I think of all we had. Wonderful for my mind you were. And to look at you? To hear those brilliant, defiant words spill from your mouth was like vintage wine from a priceless cask. Ha. Just listen to me would you? Do you want some more soup? No? Ah very well then. Allow me just a little more time with my Suzette.  

I thought we were forever. I wanted to spend the rest of my life getting to know each nook and cranny of your mind, body and spirit. And you always were spirited. Why, once I recall you hoisted a  vase right at my head calling me a "Fucking Psycho". I don't remember what we were tiffing about ... seems small now. A minute detail. But since we are no longer together, that is all I have. I must cherish those small details. The soft shape of your hips and legs, the way your hands wove through mine. We fit.

So imagine my shock when on that Sunday morning instead of making love, you simply huffed that you didn't want to see me anymore. I dare say my heart shattered. I followed you down the hall of that shitty little apartment you rented with the fake wood paneling and the baby shit colored carpet. It had gotten rather heated by that point. Imagine! Losing your everything in a simple breath? 

Edmund, can you? Everything. Forever.Happiness. Just skittering away like dried up dead leaves in the fall across an abandoned park where swings reach and cry out for children who are not there? Sad and lonely. I remember panicking and demanding an explanation... Oh yes, that was why you launched the vase. I was demanding answers. Remember Suzette? Your equal.  But then since you were so quick to give up on us, I saw ... less. Less than me. Much less. 

Do you agree Edmund? She was less? Oh don't give me that empty look. I do value your opinion. After all this time, how could I not?

Oh and my sweet Suzette! Let's not have a pout here. It was long ago, was it not? We sit here like adults, don't we? Eating a fine meal. I promise. I do my once-love, I will not hurt you anymore. Now just promise me the same. 

Well, you know it took me quite a bit to get through that mess of a heartbreak but then there was Alice. My sweet Alice. Oh she did light my fire. Didn't you Love? A cheers to you. Don't look away and play shy. I still taste the sweetness of your mouth. I can feel the soft warmth of your hands on my skin. I smell the sweat we made as you cried out to me, clung to me.  Oh the things you did say to me and drive me wild inside. I never knew such passion as with you , Alice. I had hoped the sexual fire would burn throughout your being and I looked but it was empty even deep inside. I mean, truths be told, you had an equally passionate temper and quite a flair for profanity and vulgarity but your mind? We couldn't come together. Alice, you were opinionated and weak at the same time. How do you do that? 

We must research that Edmund. Edmund? Cake? Don't you want any? I bought it down at the corner. They are such nice people there, don't you agree? Myra works a little magic with that pastry bag of hers. I think she has a thing for me. I find it cute. 

So it comes back to you Edmund. It always does. Oh Ladies. Don't be jealous. We have had our difference, our moments, but Edmund? He has been through it all with me. Right my dear friend? Why, you sat and listened while I told you of my horrible home life. You held my hand ~ not in that faggy way and coaxed me through indecision and heartbreak. You have talked me down from many a ledge. Once, you even had the courage to stand up to me; to tell me I am wrong at the risk of losing it all. 

Well, you did lose your head Edmund. Ha! Oh I don't mean to joke so cruelly, but if you hadn't threatened to go to the police after I confessed killing Suzette, we still might be able to have a conversation. A real one, not one I conjure up to your stiffened outer shell. I don't know why it was Suzette that sent you over. Not my mother? Not the little girls in the woods or the common whores in the back alleys? I didn't realize she was yours. She played us both, you know.  Me, her true love and you, her trophy mechanical husband? She couldn't leave you. Though now all is said and done and we can be civil. Right? But next time old man, wear a different suit to my table.  This one you've been wearing seems a bit; smudged. Is that chocolate? No? It looks like it. Dark rich decadent chocolate. 

Now, Alice, don't be so testy. After all, you made the soup; at least parts of you did. Oh, what a wit I am. You know, your passion and fight really made me consider keeping you a little longer. But then you just refused to shut it. Oh honestly Alice, you know ,you just kept screaming and crying and grabbing at me. It got so old. It made my eyes hurt and my brain itch. That's an uneasy feeling. I tired of you like a child with a new toy. You think it's the end all beat all, but really... it's just another toy. You outgrow it.You made it longer than most so be proud of that. Some never EVER made it to a dinner party.

Now, you all need to sit quietly here because I have company coming to dinner. I hope you all liked the meal. You were each an integral part of it. Please confess, isn't it fun that we can laugh together like this? Even after all we've been through? Now remember, quiet as church mice. The detectives will be here soon. 

Suzette? Darling, please hand me that brown bottle. No the squatty one. Well don't put your nose in there then, Silly. Of course it stinks. It's my just in case. If they won't eat or drink with me, then I may have to do it all alone. No. I won't go in to the station. Suzette. Please, you're getting a little hysterical. You've put your heart and soul, I guess ~ we never really did come to a conclusion on that ~ in to this meal. It will be unbeatable. Unforgettable. Now let me straighten my tie. Oh! Here they are early. No no. Sit down. And please put on a splash of rose water. You are getting a bit ripe with all this nervousness. Let me dish things and get started. Be quiet Suzette. It's not time for your debut yet. Close your blouse, your ribs are sticking out.

Hello? Detectives? Why yes. Yes I am. Please come in, won't you? I am so glad I have an opportunity to help you. I was deeply saddened by the news that my friend and good doctor, Edmund is missing. But you say that two other people ... Who? Ohhhh Alice? She's gone? Well, that doesn't surprise me. She's always been a spitfire, that one.  Edmund told me some of her wilder antics. Children can be a blessing and a curse can't they? But Suzette? Mmmm ... I find that a tough pill to swallow. Speaking of which, here let me take my little capsule here. Medicine for after dinner. Oh! Where are my manners? Why thank you, it does smell tasty, doesn't it? I had some dear friends help me throw it together.  Care to join me? I have more than enough. I always make plenty because as my mother used to beat into my brain: You never know when company comes to dinner.



I love this one. Yes I do. This is one where I simply sat down and wrote it straight through; about two hours top to bottom. I had been researching and just came to a point where I stopped looking and put it together. I love it when that happens. I like the one-sided narcisism, the yearning for companionship and arrogance. I think it alludes to the dialogue, connection, and personality of all "characters" smoothly. I enjoy the sophistication of not knowing exactly what is going on ... allowing it to unfold into something grotesque yet friendly. 

That is my definition of creepy.

So I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.

 I look forward to hearing from you and am glad we got to spend a little time together. Thanks for coming to see me.