Facts of life

Do you remember all the little myths/lore/legends or stories that you were convinced were true? You know, when you were young and wanted to be an expert about SOMETHING?

My kids and I were laughing about some of them and I wanted to share with you:

My son was caught picking his nose and was told not to because it's (meaning the habit of boogie hunting) no good for you.  He turned to me and said with an honest face: Actually Mommy, it is and they are VERY good.

My son used to trim his fingernails and hide the clippings in a small container.  Grossed out, I asked him what in the world he was doing.  He answer was :  I am feeding my action figures at night when I go to bed.  It's rice.

When someone drools on their pillow, that is what's called a "Monster Mark"  It means the bogeyman has come out from under the bed and sized up your head in its mouth.

You should always drain off that liquid on the top of yogurt.  It's poison.

If you are walking and see the heat waves on the road, go another way.  To cross them will cook you.

A ring of toadstools/ mushrooms is where the fairies sat and had a meeting but forgot to put their chairs away.

Birds fly faster at night because they have to be in before the streetlights come on too.

If you see a mirage (a pool of water, an animal etc) and you "call it" out loud, it will become real.

There is always ALWAYS an angry monstrous leprechaun at the end of the rainbow guarding the pot of gold.

There is a monster under the steps and if the steps are hollow, he will grab you.

Clouds are angels collecting together to see what you're doing.

Thunder and lightening storms are just games of bowling going on in Heaven.

If you touch the roof of your car with your index finger during a yellow light, it will stay yellow longer, letting you through

NEVER make a wish on a harvest/red moon. It only brings bad things.

Never whisper a name while passing a cemetary. It calls them to you.


Please feel free to send your own along. I love hearing and reading these.
Thanks for coming over. I appreciate your visits.

The Screaming Tree

He should have known better than to drive that road.  Most times he could resist.  The stories were awesome though and on a night like tonight? Cold, dark, rainy? Oh the pavement was beggin for a visit.  He turned and slowly ventured down the winding old street.  Fog from a near by pond loped along the dark rough road.  There were no street lights; not then when it happened and not now.  A girl by herself would have been scared.  Hell, he thought he had swallowed a few butterflies himself tonight.  So the movement along the shoulder startled him.  A young girl. Alone. Tired by the way she walked (well- barely- it was more like staggering)

William pulled over; hesitantly. "Gotta watch kids these days.  They'd sooner kill ya than look atcha"
He stretched across the bench seat and opened the door.  She raised her arm to shield her from the fierce glow of the tail lights.  He was a little shocked that she got in.  She closed the door and pulled herself against it.

"Where ya headin?" Willie asked all  too pleasantly.

"Stonequarry Road" she squeaked.

He gripped the wheel a little tighter.  She must be pullin his leg. Nobody went out that way at this time of night.  Not since....he shrugged it off, the story as well as the slimy chill that crept along his spine and decided not to let this stupid little weirdo get the best of him.

"Oh no sweat. I'm headin out that way too."  He gave her a quick slash of a smile. "What's your name Girl? Why're you out on a night like this?  Don't your parents worry?"

"KJ. I just wanna go home.  I uhhh snuck out and I need to get home." she twiddled her long pale fingers.

"Where ya comin from?"

She sighed and looked sideways at him.  The glow from the dash made him appear ghostly.  His eyes were like black empty pools in his skull. She pulled herself in tighter.

"Cold?"

she shook her head.

"Scared?"

She nodded and looked at him. Her face seemed frail and sad.  Her thin lips seemed to quiver from cold or the brink of tears.

"Not wise KJ, to be out here.  Not on this road."

"This road?"

"Well, that's what they say." he cleared his throat and felt a warmth inside him at getting to tell the story.  "I heard it years ago.  I drive out this way a lot, you know.  A young girl was killed out here; at least one. Maybe a bunch."

"Dead?"

"Only kind of killed I know, lil girl." He chuffed at her ignorance.  Foolish. Kids were truly stupid.

"What happened?" she asked rubbing the sprinkle of goosebumps away.

Willie bit the toothpick in his mouth and rolled it; he enjoyed the tension between them.

"Do you know what happened?" she asked again, confused by his dramatic pause.

"Seems a little girl not too different from you was a-walkin home. Dark night like this n all..." he slid a greasy glance her way, admiring her willowy arms and slender legs.  He liked how she looked; frightened.  "She was picked up."

".. by someone like you?" she asked quietly, never taking her eyes off the road.

Touche' he grinned, nodding her direction. "Well, I guess they set n talked a spell or whatever n she got scared and took off."

"So he tried to rape her." KJ said quietly, flatly.

"Noooo... I think they was just talkin and she misunderstood."

There was the silence of the lie between them; thick and dangerous.

"So I guess the lil girl ran." he continued.

"Good."

"Well not really.  It was a dark night; bad weather.  He ran after her to help her."

"Help her... understand?"

"I guess so. maybe"

"And did she?"

"Don't think so.  She was never seen again."

"So what happened when she misunderstood?"

"How should I know?" his voice was tight and defensive.

'Well that's a shitty ghost story." she said at last.

Willie stopped the car and looked at her.  He laughed.

"I heard it different." she said softly, tugging at the soggy hem of her shorts.

Willie straightened behind the wheel.  "Z'at so?"

"Yeah." It was KJ's turn to sit back.

Willie admired her shape under her wet tee.  He flipped his toothpick and bit down.

"I heard he tried to rape her but she scratched his face with some tool from his truck." Willie turned and rubbed at his cheek.  "He backed off cause he was hurt, but only for a second.  She fell outta his truck and ran into the woods."

"Hmmm- that's different." he said, stifling a yawn.  His body was getting warm inside.  He turned to face her.

"He chased her.  Caught her."

"Did he explain the misunderstanding?"

KJ snorted and glared at him.  "No. There was no misunderstanding. He beat her. Raped her.  Tied her to an old sycamore tree and left her."

"Alone?"

"Nah. He visited her again and again.  He drove out this way... a lot.  He just kept at her until she was beggin to die."

"Beggin? Shewwee. Sad it ended like that.  Sad story KJ ~ Yours is shitty too."  He looked at her.  Through her as he remembered that night.

"Her parents couldn't find her.  Lost her forever."

Willie clucked over his toothpick tasting the cheap splintery wet wood give in to pulp inside his mouth.

"Shame."

"They had a second daughter though.  Everyone thought she was crazy.  Talked to herself, mutterin all the time.  So they kept her under lock and key until she ran away one night. A night not unlike this."

"To find this man?" He smiled

"Yep."

"And do what, Little Girl?"

"See for herself."

He grinned again and scooted toward her on the seat.

She waited.

"So you see?"

"Yes I do."

"And?" his voice was velvety and soft.  His breath tickled at her skin.  "You gonna slice me? I don't have no tools on the floor ... no more." he snorted quietly.

"Nope." KJ never moved

"No?"

"Deliver you." she whispered and turned to flash her own toothy smile.  It was white and crooked.  Her lips seemed to peel across the whole in her face that was a mouth.

"From evil?"  he roared and grabbed her.  "I'll introduce you to evil" he grunted, pulling at the ropey muscles in her legs as she struggled against him.  He yanked her down along the bench seat and ripped at her clothes.  not a sound did she make, but she fought him.  She swiped at his face and eyes, clawing along his throat.  He was amazed how easy it was; then and now.

He fantasized the grunting and pushing she made were from desire; until she brought her knee up catching his rock hard erection with a force that caused him to cough, almost vomit.  He raised his fist to punch her, but she rolled and swept at the door.  It flew open and she plopped out in to the silent horrified night.  Willie began to drag himself along to the open door.  KJ jumped up and ran.  Willie was close behind though winded and sore.  He was afraid he  might lose this one.

KJ skimmed over the ground and suddenly stopped.  She waited.

"Where ARE you?" she screamed; her voice appearing as an anxious mist.

Wille chuckled and came to her.

"Why... I'm right here Darlin."

"Not you...." she laughed

The leaves crackled. There was a watery sigh.  Willie smelled the stink of dead mud and rot.  He shuddered as an icy breeze puffed along the back of his neck.  He didn't see KJ until it was too late.  She bashed the side of his head with a rock? He didn't know.  It just caused a white flash of pain and he saw stars of confusion.

When he came back around KJ was kneeling in front of him.  He heard soft laughter and the words "You're welcome"  He kicked and tried to move but realized he'd been tied.  To a sycamore tree. The monster squatted before him and reached to touch his face. It found the scar along the cheek and grinned.  Willie kicked and tried to scream. No one heard... not her back then and not him now.

KJ whistled as she left Willie with the legend of the screaming tree; more comfortably known to her as her sister.

Way in the Back

Sorry for all the typos~ I tried to fix them. My "editor" deleted a couple of sections.  this is my result when I type up north with spotty reception. Try again~ Better this time I think

For the last three years, a mother robin has nested in the highest rafter of our gazebo in the bistro.  She doesn't complain about the parties much as long as we retire at a decent hour.  She doesn't even seem to mind the toddlers.  I talk to her when I am outside writing or contemplating life.  We bond. ;) Well I noticed the flurry of activity the other day and told the kids to watch out because Mrs. Robinson's nursery was all aflutter.  There was the faintest peeping as the hatchlings wobbled around in the upstairs apartment.

Fast forward to the other afternoon.  We are getting previews of a hot summer and wet spring all in a matter of minutes here. It makes for quite a show.  I was just getting home from work; later than usual in fact.  I wanted to get outside and go for a quick run before the kids got home.  I also wanted to let the toddlers out for an intermission and whiz-filled recess.  I changed, gathered the troops and headed downstairs.  I opened the screen and began to open up the house.  It was sunny; brilliantly warm in fact.  The air was ... ripe and heavy and stinking like ... I gagged and looked accusingly at the toddlers.  Had they failed? Had they actually taken a big ole mega-doo at my feet? On my PANTS? This was disgusting.  I covered my nose with my sleeve and swiped at my eyes that were watering.  I gagged again.  The "kids" were jumping and huffing... "Lemme out lemme OUUUUUT! There's something going ON out there!"  They shoved and pushed heir little faces on  the screen. On top of the beer fridge, I discovered a small glistening bag in the sun. I picked it up and by the corners, tilted it. The wet grey mass inside slid and thumped to the corner. I seesawed it again and it became clear to me. A small hatchling, lifeless,  fluttered to the opposite corner, eyes large and bulging. A wing seemed to reach out to stop the collision; failed, but managed to toss a cloud of soggy decaying death at me. My insides made one last threat- My lunch  revisited me.  The toddlers were hopping up and down, ran out to take emergency pee breaks and came dashing back up to attempt to scale the small fridge. Winston tried to get up the front face while Birdie took to the steps to scale the side. They chuffed excitedly at each other.

" Who is this smell?  I want to roll in it."

"I know I KNOW ME FIRST!"

"Don't hog it all. You always hog all the stinky stuff."

"First one to the top ... GO~"

I recovered and put the tiny carcass in an additional bag, tossing it to the trash.  I was furious. Why had one of the kids done this? I burped, coaxing my belly to settle down, and waited.  Boo was first on the scene.  He was almost immediately exonerated by his own reaction.

"What the HELL are we having for supper?" He Dracula'd his face and coughed.

I sat patiently thrumming my fingers on the table.  "It's a bird. A bird that was put in a bag and left in the sun.  AAAAAAAALL day."

"Why'd ya do THAT?"

-gotta love my son. I sucked in my lip and stifled the laugh. "I didn't.  Did YOU?"

His eyes flew open and he vehemently shook his head; his hair flopping like the tiny body in the bin.

"Oh God no. Mom I SWEAR!"

Just then the phone rang.  It was Cheech who had been away this week.  It's been a very long hard week but that is another path for another time.

"What's up?"

"Nothing compared to what came down."

"Huh?"

I proceeded to tell him the story of what I'd found.  I could hear his nose wrinkling and feel his eyes squinching up as I tried to share my misery.

"Enough. I get it. Gross. Soooo it was Maddie?"

"Had to be."

"Oh please tell me it was already dead and she didn't put it there to keep it for a pet ..."

"Ewwwww- YOU stop."

I heard my daughter coming around the back ~ something NEVER done.

"Awwwww ~ it's gone."

Mystery solved.  I waited as she and her friend spoke quietly.  Then I asked her to come upstairs "for a quick minute"

"Yes, MaMA..." she bounced up and smiled at me.

"Missing something?"

She cocked her head.

"Someone?"

She again opted for the Winston pose.

I sighed and cleared my thick throat.  "Maddie Honey, did you find a bird?"

She smiled and nodded.  "Oh yeah mama, I found a little dead one this morning.  It must've fallen and died.  I wanted to bury it but it was raining this morning so I put it in a bag and put it in the shade on top of the fridge outside.  It's gone now though, so a cat or something must've gotten it."

"No, I did." and I smiled a little.  Partly because she was so sweet and gentle. Partly because she had no idea what she'd done. "Honey, the top of the fridge gets sun almost all day long.  That lil squab has been roastin all day in that bag.  When I got home, it was more than cooked in its own juices of stink."

She winced and put her had to her forehead. "ewwwwww Oh mom. I'm SO sorry. Oh that's so gross."

I nodded.

"Can I bury it still?"

I thought about it. "Well I guess if you still want to."

"It's kinda important.  No one should be thrown away."

I felt bad. "You're right. - Just make sure you put it way in the back of the yard. Kay?"

She smiled, nodded and went for the spade.

"Wayyyyyyy in the back."

"Yep. Got it Mom."

"Way back there."

She stopped and smiled. "Where? Here by your chair in the bistro?"

"Uhhh No. How about under your window, Genius."

She laughed and disappeared.

"Wayyyy...." I whispered.



It has been an awfully long week. I hope that you had a better one.  Enjoy the weekend and Mother's Day.

Thank you for visiting. It's nice that we share this time together. 

Details

I fell hard and fast for him.  I didn't mean to; in fact, I tried hard NOT to, but it was an epic failure.  Was it his dark curly hair? The way he whistled when he was happy?  The flirtations? Oh Lord I don't even remember now.  I remember how he befriended me.  He cared about what I was doing, saying... I had no choice and had to face facts. I adored him and gave him my heart.  He would call and we would go and we were happy; in love.  I needed that.  I wanted him.  I was enjoying the thought of growing old with him getting to know him.  I wanted to care for him when he needed ~ return the kindheartedness shown to me when I had been so desperately low; on the brink.

But when I look back now, he never asked for my heart.  He asked for my body and my time; more of a friends with benefits motif.  He gave me just enough to keep me believing in him.  I made a mistake. I wanted to be loved so much, I took what was offered and made it fit. I made it out that James loved me.  In my mind, I made him something he wasn't; a good man.

Now it could have been a skewed but doable arrangement.  I was too far gone by then.  I had already compromised my principles for his approval and company.  He was rigid for his pride and selfish wants.  I fooled myself into thinking he'd come around; see that I was good for him, to him and we could make something wonderful together for that long haul.  Then he stepped out of bounds by lying and saying he loved me. It sealed the deal for me.  No one could "love" me like he could and I didn't want anyone else to even attempt it.  I wouldn't hear of it.  My friends tried to help me, warn me... but I was stuck like glue.  Such a shame; a dangerous shame.

So when I saw him with someone else, an acquaintance of mine, it added insult to my injury. How could he do this to me? To us?  but he simply shrugged me off like a pesky mite.  No real explanation; just a high and dry "Have we met?" kind of coldness.  After days of being ignored, and begging foolishly to see him he crushed and embarrassed me with "It's not where my heart is now.  But chin up ~ you'll survive"

Expendable.  My heart, my everything was nothing but expendable.  I dropped away from friends we shared, too upset to be seen.  I certainly didn't want their pity or help..  I had done this to myself.  I had failed; both of us.  My sadness and emptiness consumed me.  I could barely get out of bed.  My body ached and I cried for him. I begged God to bring him back to me so I could love him better.

It was almost three years that God took to answer those prayers, but he did come back.  He'd been through a slew of women; some more than once but he told me he'd always thought of me in the back of his mind.  No one had been kinder to him, loved him better than I had.  Well, my heart soared to hear those words.  I wanted to throw my arms around him and hold him forever.  I wanted to shower him with kisses and make up for lost time.  I was more cautious though.  I kept him at a distance for a while.  He called a lot and pursued me relentlessly.  This wasn't like him so I knew he was genuine; genuine bullshit.  I felt like such a fool to have him do it to me a second time.  I don't even remember who the slut was that he ran off with.  He was gone for six months.  I didn't cry as hard for him this time.  I  did ask God for one more chance.  I wanted to make it right.  And when he came back for the third time; I understood what to do.  It's the charm, right? The third time?

I began by ignoring a lot of his calls, all of his emails and answering very few of his texts.  I was vague and uninterested in making plans with him, feeling no remorse or sadness at breaking dates last minute and taking someone else to where we were supposed to have gone.  Nor did I worry if he saw me with someone else. I mean, this is how things worked, correct?  I needed to be stronger for him; less of a puppy ~ as one of the whores he bedded drunkenly snorted at me when I'd caught him one night at a club where we were supposed to meet but he'd been "too sick" to go out that night... I needed to show him I understood now. I accepted him for who he was...

but this seemed to cause immense dissatisfaction; to the point that he followed me once or twice and confronted me.  Then he began to call ~ all the time and texting? Whew. My phone.... blew up!  the emails were countless.  James even sent gifts to work and stopped by.  It startled me, this change in him. I had to change my phone several times and almost stopped emailing all together. He would leave angry messages demanding I see him.  I agreed but then this nice young man from down the street wanted to take me to a restaurant in town, so I just put James on the back burner.  It wasn't as if he loved me.  right?  Well, he must have followed me that night because he barged right in and caught me ... caught me... SAW me with someone. I didn't realize it was a friend of his. I felt so bad.  Regardless, he flew off the handle, slamming his fist on the table and getting right in to my face and hissing some real cruel words.

After being escorted from the restaurant, he thought about it ( I guess)  maybe he saw what an ass he'd been. So maybe he came to my house to apologize; even though it was late. Yes, it was very late.

I heard the knock.  My house was dark. I got out of bed and headed for the front door.  I called out, but no one answered. I was frightened but I at least had my gun with me.   I began to turn on the lights but I missed the last step in the foyer; so clumsy of me and I knocked over my big lovely  vase with the little gardenias on it. Oh it made SUCH a noise! Broke into a gazillion pieces.  And the next thing I knew, he was smashing in my door.  I was terrified. All I had on was my nightie. I was all alone and it was late.  I was frightened.  He'd been acting so strangely for so long.  I just fired the gun.  He fell down like a doll and laid there on my floor.  

And that's when I called the police.  They came very quickly. What a relief.  Of course I had to show them all the emails and ranting texts he sent.  I played all the angry messages he left.  Of course they don't realize that I sent gifts to me from him; his credit card.  They don't understand that I had several phones I used to get him angry and call him constantly.  They didn't need those little things... details? Here, they are unnecessary. I just made sure more people saw who he really was. It was clear as day when they went to the restaurant and confirmed his erratic behavior.  They have been very kind with me.  Officer Stephenson especially.  I think he's cute.  They aren't planning to file charges against me.  I am relieved about that.  They DID ask how I got blood on me if I was standing at the stairs.  I had to tell them then that I DID go over to him . I told them I tried to save him.  I told them how he'd lifted his eyes, pale and dying and begged me for help.  Asked me to save him.

"It's not where my heart is right now. But I'll keep my chin up Honey and somehow I'll survive".

They don't need to know that... 

Not all details are important.