Evidence

We were sitting around the dinner table and sometimes I tell the kids snippets from my childhood.  We were talking about bullying and fighting and I had to relate this story. 

When I was in Kindergarten I was very shy and rarely spoke. Recess was my saving grace; to be outside and in the dirt was Eden to me. (I even developed a habbit of eating cupcake papers during birthdays and parties so I could get out faster.  Proud? No.  But I confess that there was so much crumbly goodness on those bad boys that it was like a whole 'nuther MUFFIN! Seconds without asking?! Wee HOO!) Anyway,  I sat in the same seat, I played with the same toys and I never bothered a soul.  The same could not be said for my nemesis.  Her name doesn't matter anymore though I remember it; nor does her boy haircut that her mother INSISTED on cramming with tiny bow barretts.  They looked stupid.  She took every toy I used, she wrinkled every paper that had to be passed back to me.  I never said a word (something I still do sometimes even today much to my chagrin and others' benefit but I digress) until the play stations.

Now we had very busy play stations; one was filled with blocks as big as our heads (and they were the SMALL ones; which we of course used to build stockades), there was the art station which contained paste for those of you who loved the little pirate barrel with the spoon (not that I would know...it wasn't my favorite station) and a car station and the BEST one? The Doll Station.  Oh yes.  It had dolls, clothes, a baby buggy and even an ironing board complete with iron which somehow had live wires. Missed a wrinkle on the yoke of your shirt? zzzzAAAP ~! only once girlfriend. So now you know this was my favorite station.  But my nemesis loved to take the last spot or throw such a tantrum that I always had to move. *sigh* I did it.  I was the peacemaker but I despised her for it.  She always popped this sick sweet grin that sang "Nah nee nah nee booooo booooo...."

Well, it was during the Christmas party.  All the girls were dressed up.  My dress was white with a long tafeta black and white plaid skirt.  I looked like a taxi with curly white hair.  My non friend?  Well she wore a crushed velvet hunter green dress with the Christmas candy stripes in it.  And one of those stupid bows.  What a dork.

It was bad enough that she ripped my paper as it came back.  Then she took my cupcake when Mrs. Bowdecker wasn't looking.  I managed to snag a "second" first and that just made her angrier. 

"Time for play stations!" my teacher said sweetly.  I got up out of my seat and RACED to the baby dolls.  She was right behind me.  She pinched my arm and pulled my hair but I got it. I WON~ Triumphant and truly overcome with the joy of the season and the fact that I was playing with the dolls I turned to brag to her. 

"WHACK"  She flipped one of the old shirts in the ironing pile and a button caught my cheek.
 I reared back seeing tiny dark stars and she took the buggy full of dolls.  I stood there feeling my face throb as she sweetly hustled over to the teacher to show what a good little mommy she was.  I was boiling over.  I quietly settled in to ironing and playing house.  I did not notice the sting from the wires.  I was extremely focused on seeing her face on the sleeve.  Boy was it smooth.  But I was content to at least be at my favorite station. This was not acceptable to my non friend.  She waited until Mrs. Bowdecker was helping to release Brian from the  prison that Maria had built around him before he wet his pants and proceed to pinch me again until I let go and then stuffed all my ironing and toys in the buggy and strolled off.  I walked over and took the iron and baby clothes; my teeth grinding loudly.  She drove the buggy over my shoes and up my shins.  Both had skinny tire marks on them.

It was over and I had had enough.  I yanked the buggy away from the space between us; feeling much like Lou Ferigno in a Hulk moment and I shoved her with all the strength a five year old contained (continuing on that line of though: "Don't make me angry.  You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...) I pushed her back and over a stack of chairs. She sommersaulted and the next thingx I saw were her white tights and black patent leather MaryJane shoes stuck clumsily up in the air, her skirt over her head and that stupid barret on the floor.  Brian was giggling and pointing because we all discovered that Lil Miss Bully Bitch was wearing "Saftey pants".

Of course she sat up, wailed and said that I had bit her and tried to eat the babies in the buggy. Naturally that wasn't true...it wasn't full moon.  I never change OR eat babies without a full moon. ;)  Well, I was pulled from recess and that witch took the baby dolls outside in the buggy; laughing and pointing at me.  I had to write "I will be nice." about one hundred times.  *sigh*

But when my class came in from recess, she laid a piece of paper across my desk.

I HATE YOU 

I tucked it in my mouth and chewed slowly, grinning menacingly as she stared at me. The look on my face was meant to read: "You're next."

"Mrs. Bowdecker!!!!! " she squealed.

"What NOW?" my teacher had had enough too I realized.

"She hit me."

My teacher glared at me.  I shook my head and cheeked the paper.
"See wote a bah note" I choked over wood pulp and graphite.

"DID NOT!" and the panic began to crawl across her face like freckles.

I smiled once more and coughed up the evidence.

She lost recess for TWO days.  The baby dolls were very happy to see me.



My kids loved it.  I don't know why....
Thanks for coming over.  I hope you smiled. Funny how you remember your long agoes, isn't it?