Consider the source

He was always able to snow her, even when she knew better but she loved him enough to want the empty words to be true.  He abused that; abused her heart. His fists simply followed suit.


"I want to love you." he grunted through gnashed teeth.


"But?" the tears burned her cheeks.  Her heart sobbed where she simply lacked the strength.


"It's hard when you're this weak.  A failure. You make me so angry. I hate what you make me do." He raised his hand once more.


"My fault." she thought as the nausea of her arm being broken in two swept over her. She looked down to stifle the gag.  She felt her lungs begin to burn with sorrow and her head throbbed with disbelief.  The screams rushed forward, crowding to the front of her mouth to be heard but she choked them back and fought for control.  She had learned no noise was better.


"Well let's consider the source. You are very needy; like a puppy.  I want someone more ...."  his voice trailed; slowing the rhythm of his beating.  He turned and left abruptly as if bored by the repetition.


She lay dead still, not certain if he had finished.  Usually she crept to bed allowing the cool sheets to soothe her.  She would plot ways to improve herself, hoping it would be different next time; thinking he would approve or maybe even love her.  Not today, not again.   Instead, she recognized a small glow of anger.  She felt the resistance to his humiliation for the first time and drank deeply.  When he had gone to sleep, cursing and berating her from the living room, she left.  She took nothing but the money she stashed for emergency hospital visits, desiring no further connection to his hateful cowardice. The night welcomed her. She hopped the first bus out of town, found the closest hospital and never looked back.  The pins  they put in her arm kept her strong, committed to herself for the first time in far too long. The love for him she had held so preciously burned up and disappeared, leaving behind a bitter understanding of the man he was versus the man he'd pretended to be to the outside world.  She came out on top; learning to stand alone and tolerate no one who could not give what she gave; in friendship, in love, in all things. Time lessened the pain but did not heal the wound.  It simply marched on, encouraging her to follow. As she did, she met new people, made new friends and built a life that was simple, loving and pain free.  She was amazed at the ease with which sleep visited her; sound and peaceful as opposed to broken and fear ridden.  She enjoyed the sound of laughter, surprised at her own and reveling in the noise when shared.  She understood at last that happiness was good to have and easy to achieve if she just let it in.


She was heading home from a party one night not long after her arm had healed.  It was way passed bed time.  She had not intended to stay so late but the company had been fabulous and the fun was intoxicating.  She began the trek down a winding lonely road.  She turned the radio up to keep her company and be part of the band as she loved to do.  Stars winked behind veils of clouds and the moon grinned brightly against the velvet sky.  She slowed at a particularly tight turn.  Gliding around, she spotted a fresh accident; a single car on its roof.  It had slammed into a utility pole with transformers perched on it.  The crack was thick and deep.  With the wind, it swayed menacingly, threatening to collapse.  She pulled over quickly and clicked her hazard lights, hopping out to help the driver.  Smoke plumed out of the broken windows. The airbags billowed like trapped little ghosts.


"Hello? Can you see me? Hear me?" Her feet crunched on the shoulder's gravel.


A muffled moan crawled out from under the wreck.


She slowly approached and got down on her knees peeking in.  Her hand slipped in a small puddle. A quick whiff confirmed it was gas. The driver stirred in the shadows and a hand wobbled toward her.


"Here. Help me..."  The voice froze her blood. "I'm stuck."


She tilted her head and glared into the dark car.  He was cut badly but was able to begin wiggling toward the open window. He hadn't really seen her yet.  Again, he called to her.


"Help me. There's gas..." and he turned his head. As it registered with him, his eyes flew wide and his clutch for help became a fierce grab. "YOU" he shouted and moved for her.  He growled thickly and began to swear.  The promises of reaching her were filled with dark violence.


She was glad he was pinned.  She recoiled and cried out, watching in horror as he started to pull himself toward her with a vengeance. When he realized he could not move any more without her, he changed his demeanor, becoming soft and pleading.  His show of vulnerability and helplessness were extraordinary and false.  She sat back and watched, feeling her eyes and heart slowly glazed over with indifference.  She stood and brushed her knees, turning to leave him as he had her; broken, bloody and hurt.  It was a good feeling. As his voice hitched, registering fear, she paused, cocking her head, listening to him:
"Please Baby. Help me.  I need you."  His hand was mostly out of the window now; the fingers at an odd, ugly angle.


She walked around to the other side and peered in.  His legs looked smashed; dented and crumpled in several places.  His stuff had skittered all over the road; wallet, phone, cigarettes.  He had turned to try to follow her, but yelped when he'd gone too far.  Heavily she sighed and circled one last time. The pole swivelled cruelly tempting her to test its stamina.


"Hurry up Stupid! Get me out of here!"


"Ahhhh THERE you are. " she snorted. "I was worried for a moment." Lazily, she lit one of his cigarettes dragging deeply. She found it, like the man in the wreckage, pitiful and unfulfilling. 


"Get OVER here you bitch! I swear to God when I get a hold of you..."


She raced back and crouched down so he could see her. Her eyes glinted in the dark. She puffed smoke in to the window allowing the glow of the cigarette's fire to sink in. 


"Wait Baby. We can fix this. You know I loved you. I don't know what happened but you hear me right? I love you..."


She rolled the ember near the stream of gas and looked back at him.  "Do I? hmmm Let's consider the source."


The heat surprised her, tousling her hair and clothes.  Getting into her car she watched for a moment as the flames danced and licked the fragile pole. She was a chorus into "American Girl" when the explosion rumbled up on her. The flash of light was brilliant; sparking and splintering the sky like an Independence Day celebration.  


It was, actually, if you consider the source.




Not extraordinary, but I still like it.  Inspired by an accident we stumbled on while travelling home, we stopped and helped a young girl who had lost control around one of the turns (for those of you in the know...that set I ALWAYS warn you about).  She was okay and all ended as best as it could.  I just thought of some different variables... I hope you enjoyed your visit. I know I did. I'll try not to stay away so long.  I've got a couple of witchy weeks ahead but I hope we can hang out. I feel better here with you.