In the spirit

Oh my! Has it been so long? *sigh* Sad but true.  I have not felt well and things have been landsliding in my direction under the guise of holiday spirit and fun. Let me share with you...

I remember growing up that my mom and I did most of the decorating. I miss that very much ( as I am usually the lone elf on decoration detail) My father always did the tree; perfectly. Now whether that meant we had to tie the holiday bush to the wall to keep it straight or we had to sacrifice our bodies for the Merrier Greater good; so be it.  As most of you know, I am allergic to pine. This was discovered when after crawling under a massive decorated tree to water it, it fell on top of me.  Angel Hair, pine needles and bulbs stabbed at me like a warped unholy form of acupuncture.  But the real fun came when we discovered the allergy. Itch? Not the word. Swelling? Unimaginable. Even today, I find bristles of white fiberglass embedded in my flesh. But that is Christmas Past. As is one of my favorite stories from a friend:

Her husband (then a boy) was given a little man's tool set: hammer, wrench, saw, screw driver...the works.  Well it was, after all, the family party so the adults were busy; not wanting to be bothered with the kids; at least not for a while. But that while was long enough.  After being told several times to "find something to do. " and "Play with your new toys." he did just that.  He sat quietly in the middle of that party, surrounded by capable adults and proceeded to saw off the legs of a coffee table. No one knew a thing until the second one began to collapse and all the drinks/ apps and such began to slide....

Ahhhh GREAT TIMES to remember.

Christmas Present? Well in true Griswold style, we put up our lights, but they still looked knotted after they were in the windows. "Lil knot here, Russ..." and of course my "Sparky" was dancing on that ladder as if there was a merengue playing ( I hate to watch that!)  but was still able to bark commands ... "Not that side. Don't unroll them like that..." you are getting the picture? I tried not to utter disparaging words when he climbed out on to the roof and hung upside down to clip in the lights...some of which went out the MINUTE they were hung but the replacement strand had only one plug! The other end? It just stopped. What the firetruck???  Well, to keep our marriage intact, I went inside to hang some different lights. I was fine until the chainsaw started up.  I thought he was being funny but I heard the crashing of lumber. A flash of fear and concern rumbled in my stomach, but I steadied myself and with all the control I could muster, whipped open the door, yelled: "Dinner's ready Clarrrrrk!" and then slammed it shut.  The kids began to giggle.  Then my daughter piped up with "Why's the carpet all wet ...TOOOODDD?" and in his booming radio voice I heard from all the way in the back of the house: "I don't KNOW Margo!"  I'm glad we all have a sense of humor.

But that is not our favorite source of Christmas dialogue. Everyone knows.  I'm all about Ralphie. My leg lamp sits beside me with the soft glow of electric sex when I write and the quotes fly much like pellets toward Black Bart. After our light fiasco, we headed for our tree ( before all the good ones are gone...).  I couldn't resist. Yes I did go there: shutting them all off and as I was last to get in the car said it: "Don't want to waste electricity." heehee...good stuff.

Now not to be left out, the toddlers decided to assist in their own fashion.  Bumpus hounds? Well, in their own right.  Winston pulled out the tree skirt and "Had his way with it". Felt and cinnamon are apparently aphrodisiacs for my piglet.  OH MY GOD WINSTON! PUT THAT AWAY! So in protest, he piddled on the ornaments. After washing them, my hope is that they don't smell like pee when the lights heat up. "Merry Christma---*sniff~ sniff~* What's that....?"  Birdie? She was milder. She took cinnamon pine cones into her lair and ate them like chips.  If I were a good parent, perhaps I'd have gotten her some damn dip. I just sighed and ate cookie dough then drove to the store to buy pre-made cookies for the after concert at school.  Throw in all the shopping, cards, and other stuff we elves are doing; (speaking of which, does anyone have any extra tape and ribbons? ;0   )   and it equals a lot of anxiety and stress.

Fah-rah-rah-rah -RAHHHHHH

I am looking forward to some time to write. I have tons of notes but simply can't break away to spend the time and have them come out right. *sigh* Soon we'll have our houses back in order and the bustle will be done and all of this will melt away soon like the snow ...oh wait we don't have any yet.

This is all we get tonight. I'm sorry. I'm a little dry and rushed. I miss you terribly and look forward to a slower pace soon.

Let's spend some time together this weekend maybe?
Sounds so good to me.
See you then.
Love,
Tess