I love this day. I live for this day. And I'm going to be the coolest zombie ever. David isn't allowed to be scary, mean or violent things so he will be a scarecrow or a police man (Tell me where the fun in THAT is?) or a fireman. He can't even be a ghost with a sheet like Charlie Brown. What a rip off! But at least he can go trick or treating. Whew! I was sweating that one for days. I mean, who wants to go trick-or-treating with their baby sister in a wagon when you can go in style? David's mom said she would DRIVE us ~ awwwwesoooome! So we had our "party" at school today, but you can't have anything to eat like party food. You have to have carrot sticks and fig newtons. No nuts, no candy, no cookies no popcorn nononononoNO! Geez! Why do adults have to ruin everything? Well, they aren't going to ruin my night ~ no WAY Buster. I am home after school to hit the houses right close to me. Mr and Mrs Roth will always give me money or a NORMAL size candy bar because I am like, one of the only kids left in this neighborhood and they don't get to see their grand kids much. I don't know why they don't face time or oovu or something but they don't. So I win. Then I will go to Mrs Mitchell's. She tries to give me healthy stuff like toothbrushes from her cupboard or old stinky granola bars out of her pantry but I just give her my "look" and she says "Don't tell your mother" and gives me brownies or cookies or one time she gave me an ice cream bar!
I LOVE THIS DAY!
So I got all ready. It took me forever to get the blood the right color and my face and hair right. I can't just go out with a ripped shirt and some red marker streaks with my arms out groaning and stuff. That is what Kevin Anderson did and he is STILL being roasted over that. No way, not me. I'm going for gut globs on my shirt, blood that actually LOOKS like blood and some seriously funked up teeth Oh and I'm going to dig in the dirt so I have grimy, gross fingers. I'm going to be SO cool. Poor David. A policeman? I mean they are cool and I have an uncle who is one buuuut... Halloween? It's for scaring and gore and blood and YEAH I LOVE THIS DAY... oh sorry. Why couldn't he be a soldier? Then at least he'd get to wear camos. I'll tell him that for next year.
Now I just have to wait til David's mom gets here in the marshmallow mobile. It's not bad, I don't know why David calls it that. Maybe because she's so "fluffy" and happy all the time. I bet it smells like candy and sugar. We have to be driven around or have an adult up our butts at all times. I guess they heard a story that someone is out to kidnap little kids today or tonight or something. Two kids went missing from Huber and Piqua just this week on their beggar's night. That sucks. I don't buy it, I think its just like the story that goes around every year about razor blades in apples or stuff on stickers that you lick and then go crazy and jump off a roof or whatever. Whatever. Nobody is taking my day. Candy is MINE for breakfast and for lunch and for dinner and for snacks and forever. I love candy.
So David's mom finally got here. She's okay; kind of pretty and nice; just a littler too careful, you know? Whatever. She said she would take us to the really big neighborhoods. I can't wait. David is a cop but he has white face and really dark circles under his eyes. Says he's a zombie cop. Whatever. It's a little better. At least he's not like a bank teller or a lawyer or something stupid like that. Her car is white and it smells like coffee and dryer sheets. The seats are tan and smooth; easy for us to slip in and out.
And we were off. It took a little while to get to the places but then she had it all rockin and rollin and the sugar gods were generous. I got Reese's; I get extra of those because I'm like the only one left on earth who doesn't have an allergy to the stuff, Milky Ways, and then some bozo threw in an Almond Joy. Dork. I got a baggie of pennies... Really? You couldn't go to the store? The candy is right in front of the door and is cheap... Pennies? So I said thank you anyway and David and I at least waited till we got to the next house to laugh at them. We don't waste time either, we switch and ditch right away. If there are bowls with the hilarious "Please take ONE" sign? Dude, you know it's gone. And then when we've pillaged the small community, we go back to the mallow mobile and zoom to the next. David's mom is just sipping iced coffee and yapping on her phone. Pretty benign. We don't even talk or anything just jump in zoom away and jump out. Easy.
So we got to this one section and the houses were MAMMOTH so we knew we'd hit the mother load. We did our first round and made the pact that if it rocked, we would split up, rehit our favorites and be set for life. I found MY favorite in the red brick house with KING sized Snickers, and Hershey bars. Oh MAN I was in HEAVEN. But they wouldn't let us revisit if we had the same costume on. So I was smart and thanked my mom for making me bring a sweatshirt. I had like three trips to the same house but did the entire section just because I wanted to be fair. YES! David was gonna be SO jealous because zombie cop or not... he didn't have three outfits. So I spent a lot of time there and totally lost sight of David. I just figured he was doin the same thing as me. I never even thought about the other kids or that it might be getting late. Candy, man. It's all about the booty. So when the horn beeped and I looked up, I didn't think anything of the mallow mobile sitting in the cul-de-sac. I waved and got a couple more. Then there was another beep. I didn't want to get in trouble or have David's mom tell my mom I wasn't listening or something so I left the sanctuary of chocolate and headed back for the white car. It was really dark so I guess I couldn't be TOO upset. I whipped open the door and flounced on the seat. Hmmm no David. Well at least I knew I wouldn't be getting in trouble for not listening.
"Thank you Mrs. Savitch. It was really nice of you to do all the driving and stuff. We made a KILLING out there!" I happily chatted as I sorted through my pillow case crammed with sweets. I laughed thinking about how all the dentist offices would be having their drop-off day where they have people (usually parents) drop off their extra candy and then they give it to those in need. I am one in need. In need of CANDY. I laughed at myself and waited for David. I unwrapped another candy and licked melted sugar from my hand.
"Where IS David anyway? Is he lost or something? " There was no reply for a long time. I just figured she was engrossed in some tweet or something. Then the car began to move. I looked up and realized the car smelled like old Mexican food and dirty feet. The seats were blue fake velvet and were stained copper brown; ripped and torn. Then I looked to the mirror, where David's mom would have been; if it had been her car. The candy in my mouth went to salty sawdust. I couldn't swallow. Looking back at me was a painted clown face: bright green cross marks at the eyes and a huge red and blue slashed smile too wide for a normal mouth which was crammed full of tan, crooked teeth. The hair was purple and wiry; sticking up and out all over the place. I barely heard the click but knew in an instant that the child locks were set. I reached for the handle but the clown caught my eye and shook its head. Then it put its white gloved finger to its mouth and made the "shhhh" sign.
The tears came in a rush and I spit out the nasty candy.
I hate this day.
Happy Halloween! may you read this in the dark and may it make you shiver... just a bit. Thank you for stopping in. Want some candy?
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