Sunday, April 15, 2012

Share with me

Well... this is just a minute or two to brag and share.
I send, submit, compete like any writer. I want to share a victory; after all my other rejections, this warrants a moment. A BIG ONE. I am celebrating with a key lime martini. Clink with me.

I listen to my ghost story pod casts and enjoy them immensely. I took a chance and submitted. I was just notified that one of my "blerbs" will be posted for April in my favorite podcast.

Want to know the truth? I cried. I couldn't even tell my friends or Cheech. I was simply speechless. The excitement was that equaled to a rollercoaster drop. I have worked so hard and to have approval, acceptance and appreciation for something (ANYTHING) I have written; let alone to see the words " I have recorded it and it will be posted in the next issue.... Thanks" simply sent me swooning to the moon. Pride? Elation? All acceptable and viable feelings at this moment. "Thanks" ? Are you motherfiretrucking KIDDING me?  I could tongue kiss you Mister! You have sent me into another dimension of happiness; ice cream excluded.

So enough of the description. The pod cast is "www.anythingghost.com"  no. 153. I am #11. You can listen to the entire cast or ff with the timer. I'm sure you know how to click on the little button for the timer ( at the top of the screen. The show is almost an hour long soooooo evaluate how many ghost stories you want to hear.) I am right in the middle: 31:38 and last until about 36:16.  Lex has been casting since 2006 and though I've been a fan, I've not been brazen enough to submit; too afraid I wasn't good enough.

This is big for me. Please come over and share a shiver.

Let's touch base soon. I have a big project in my lap right now, but I want to get together before too long.
Much love and giggly hugs.
Tess

Sunday, April 8, 2012

You'll be sorry

My brother will kill me, but I have to spill it.  After all these years, I told my family. Now I shall share it with you, my friends and fellow bloggers and fans: WHY I hate eggs.


I was young.  We still lived in town so it was before I was in third grade. My brother and I were messing around and searching the house for "buried treasure" or something childish like that. Did I mention the time of year? Summer. Mid summer.


We found it all right. An Easter egg, beautifully dipped and perfectly forgotten in a small dark too-well- planned hiding spot. Now go and re-read when we found this. 


We proudly dashed up the stairs to show my mother "LOOK WHAT WEEEEEEEEE FOUUUUUUUND!" juggling from hand to hand and sibling to sibling. My mother's jaw dropped and her nose pinched all the way up between her eyes. 


"EWWWWWW! Where?"


"In the basement!"


"Good LORD Throw it away."


"Awwwww Can't we play with it?


"Play WHAT with it?NO!" She still had a look that crossed between horror (if we dropped it) and disgust (that we wanted to DO something with it)


"PLEAAAAAASE?"


"You're gross. Take it OUTside!" and she shook her head "You'll be sorry. That is one bomb you don't want to go off."


We scampered outside yelling at each other: "Be CAREFUL for "Jiminy Crickets" and "let ME hold it" "Mom said it was a BOMB"


It was my brother who thought of the game.


Said egg or "bomb" was placed in the grass at the side of the house (We didn't want to share our good new "toy" with ANYONE) We both had to back up and then at the word GO my brother would (demonstrate) run up, straddle the egg, squat and touch the ground and run home to smack the other runner who would repeat said act until....Armageddon occurred.  


I remember clapping and laughing at his GENIUS. "YES!" I cheered.


"Go." and he did.


Then I did.


And we did this for almost twenty minutes laughing until we thought we'd pee in our pants.  But this kind of fun doesn't last forever.


I'm the one who detonated the bomb. I will confess right here and now, that the smell was one I will never forget. My eyes widened in terror and began to water.  I pulled my collar up over my nose but it was too late. The poison had set in. My stomach lurched and I threw up in the bushes.  Sulfur? No. Rotten decayed sulfur, baked in the sun with rotten vegetation and proteins for MONTHS.


My brother wanted to continue the game and had not realized the severity of the stink. You know how in movies that green, snaky smog that represents a bad smell? It exists. Oh yes. I have seen it with mine own eyes. Then? what did he do? He picked it up and smooshed in in my face. This only facilitated my newly reversed digestive tract. The vile stench threw me on all fours and left me heaving and gagging.  He laughed even harder.  


I was mad. Furious. I spat one last time and reared up on my haunches with the now famous "look" of "YOU have gone too far.  It is too late to save yourself now" I scanned the yard for my weapon and swiped my hand across my mouth removing the last bits of sick and rotted egg.  My brother began to run back toward the house, to Mother and safety.  I grabbed my chosen method of retaliation and took off.  Even then, I was a fast runner.  I caught him and though I could NOT bring him down I could jump on his back with my own "bomb".


Dog poop.


And I want to tell you that I rubbed it in his hair and down his clothes with all the strength I had. I gritted my teeth and I'm sure I was growling like a lynx on the hunt. He was screaming and swinging. I was all but foaming at the mouth and gnawing his face off. He was spinning around trying to get me off.  We were our own tornado.


My mother bolted out of the house and yanked us apart.  Then she dropped us and gagged. Poop and rotten eggs. Those were her children.  Without a word, she pointed.  Defeated and angry we walked side by side, pinching and punching each other alllllll the way to the hose.  


I don't care WHAT time of year it is. Hose water is cold.  She turned it on FULL blast and with every drop she would yell "Don't MOVE~ This is AWFUL! YOU STINK! GOOD GOD!" Once reasonably soaked and cleaned off, we were ordered in to the house both crying by now and pink from water pressure where we were ceremoniously dunked in the tub and scrubbed. 


My jammies hurt. My belly hurt. But I knew one thing: she was right.


I WAS sorry.

Happy Easter to one and all. I hope you enjoyed your few minutes with me. I know I did. Thank you for thinking of me and stopping by. See you soon.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Meeting Mother

 Stay away from the "Free Candy van" types of cars.  You know the ones, right? Sure you do. The ones that drive too slowly passed you at the bus stop or while you are walking home.  The ones where the driver is looking a little too hard at you as he does this. Sure. It's called Stranger Danger. We've been taught and been teaching it from the time we could hear and our children could listen.  It's the first ghoulish story introduced to youngsters.


Robert Brendel always tried to watch out for Missy.  She was his best girl, he reminded her.  Missy painfully but innocently joked she was his only girl. Robert drove her to school, even when Missy begged otherwise. "PLEAAAAAASE let me walk with my friends! you can't baby me forever."


"Actually I can.  But if you want, I will let you walk.  I'll simply walk WITH all of you. I can't wait to tell Kelly about you having to sit at the table to finish your vegetables. Or share with Amy, how you are afraid of the flying monkeys in the Wizard of ..."


"Start the car. I'll get my lunch." she would sigh and drag herself out, defeated, to the waiting chariot.


It was a little tough for them at times. Robert missed his wife and best friend, Carol. As Missy grew up and discovered boys and hormones, Robert was certain one of them would wind up in an institution with only scattered clumps of hair remaining. But there were some fabulous times; laughing until they couldn't catch their breath good times. That was what he cherished and what fueled him through the rough spots of being a sudden single parent.


It was Halloween. She had wanted to go dressed as a slutty pirate which was immediately vetoed. She instead was given the choice of a clown or a hobo. There was nothing sexy about either. Robert was pleased. Missy was not. She had been given specific instructions. Call when she got to her friend's house and when she was on her last street.  He would come and get them all and they would stay at Missy's house for the night. But it didn't go like that.


She went and changed her clothes when she had arrived at Kelly's house; to be the sexiest clown she could.  They went in Amy's boyfriend's car to the local fast food and at last, they went down Beggar's road  to the old Cooper house.  Of course THIS night, everyone wanted to be there.  It was the local haunted attraction. Long ago a man and woman had tried to have a baby.  She kept having miscarriages and was very sad.  At last she made it through the pregnancy and her water broke at home.  There was a problem though.  The woman didn't have time to get to the hospital and had to have the baby at home.  There were complications and she died in childbirth. Her ghost wandered the halls in search of her baby.  Most of the spectators stood outside the gates and told the story; too afraid to go in. The triple dog dares were thrown like jousting challenges. Missy was the one to accept.


"Open the gate" she said defiantly.


"Prissy Missy is going to get dirty?" her friends chided.  That was it. She wiggled her way through, ignoring the resistance and warnings the rough iron issued by snagging her clothes. She disappeared in to the forest of briers and ivy. Her friends' voices that jeered and howled at first, fell eerily silent as she reached the warped front steps.  


"Creepy old building. That's all" she reassured herself and pushed on.


The smell of mold and neglect stung her nose. She snuffed and began to move about the abandoned home.  Furniture draped in sheets cowered and shrunk back in to the shadows.  Animals who had nested ,scurried about to peek at their uninvited guest.  She watched the crooked and gnarled trees outside as they scratched at the shell of the house.  Eerie yes, haunted? she wasn't so sure.  The shadow play could have been perceived as ghosts moving around.  The wind whistling through the old uninsulated walls could have been heard as screaming whispers of the dead. The cold blasts that surrounded her might have been spirits long gone from the physical world. Or, as she concluded, it was just an old sad forgotten home filled with someone else's memories.  She did not disturb anything, just walked around.  


"Thank you." she said to no one. (just to be safe)


"Don't go" came a distinct voice low and soft.  


She turned quickly, startled by the conversation.


"Hello? I can't see you. I didn't mean to ..."


"Don't go." It came again.


"You want me to stay with you? Can you come out so I can see you?"


"My baby. Don't go"


"Are you hungry? Is  your baby hungry?  I have some candy. Would you like some?"


Silence.


She left the bag on the floor and said thank you once more.  She would never deny the chilled sweat that covered her body.  She couldn't lie about her racing heart.  She walked much more quickly down the walk toward the gate.


Which was empty.  No one had waited.  They had all gone.


"Greaaat." she angrily muttered and began the schlep home.  She decided she would walk to the middle of town and THEN call her dad.  He might be less angry when she had to explain why she was so late AND in the middle of town when she was supposed to have just been in her neighborhood. She had decided to tell him part of the truth when she saw him next. She recognized the van as it rolled up next to her.  "Get away from me you Creeper." she joked.  The window rolled down and there sat her friend's buddy, Patrick. 


"Why are you all the way out here alone?" he asked.


"Aww I came with Amy and Dillon and the gang.  They ditched me when I went in to the Cooper place. Now I have to hustle home before my Dad blows a fuse. I think I'm too late on that last one.  What time is it?"


"It's only 8:30"


"COOL~" she clapped happily. "I still have half an hour. Can you drive me so I can call him? I might just survive this night!" 


He stopped and she scampered around to get in. "Thanks Paddy. you're great."


"Gotta get in on this side.  The door's broken. Sorry. Piece of shit. "


"You're all class Paddy. Alone again? They ditch you too? My dad says never ride with boys alone.  Bah. I don't care. You're the best!"


He said nothing and headed off.  


"Want to get something to eat?"


"Nah. I'm really just looking to get home. I don't want to be grounded for the rest of my life." 


"We have plenty of time. I'm starvin. Mind if I stop?" 


They were close so she thought nothing of it.  "I guess. Just make sure that I get home safely."


"Hey Prissy...safety third." he grinned and pulled over.


"What's up Paddy? Why ya stoppin?"


"I want to talk to you." he said quietly.


"We can talk tomorrow. I want to get home." for the first time, she felt uneasy. She thought about pulling the door but didn't. Paddy wouldn't hurt her.


He leaned over to try to kiss her, confessing he cared for her.  She whacked her head on the window trying to dodge it.  He grabbed her and pulled her to him.  She smelled alcohol and pot for the first time that night. His eyes were wild and his words were tight; angry. The struggle was brief. He hadn't meant to hit her so hard but then he just couldn't stop. He turned and drove back out of town. She tossed and turned groaning in confused pain.  He took her back out to the Cooper place and parked around the side unseen.  He carried her in and cleaned her up as best he could; waiting for her to come around.


The house was silent and dark.  It seemed to be listening to them.  He sat next to her, stroking her hair and clothes; talking quietly, soothingly as if trying to coax her back to consciousness.  It was late when she finally stirred. 


The pain in her chest was heavy and hot.  She choked on the smell and taste of blood. She rolled her head and focused her eyes on the boy she'd known forever; since junior high.  The boy who had beat her up and tried to assault her.  She scrambled away from him and tried to stand.  Her head felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds; filled with wet cloth.


Paddy reached to soothe her. "It's okay Prissy."


"Don't touch me you fucking FREAK!" she hissed.


He ground out his cigarette and stood above her.  Missy tried to scramble to her feet, but his boot to her gut insured she would stay down; coughing a sputtering. Panic was in her brain. She glanced around and began to shout


"You told me not to go!  PLEASE help me now"
and she waited. Paddy knelt above her, pulling at her hair. His lips met hers for the first time, rough and furious.  She bit his lip and growled at him, swinging wildly at his face. Her nails digging at his skin.


Paddy laughed and knelt on her chest.  His hands were around her throat.  He thumped her head on the bare floor and told her it was sad it had to be this way. She didn't have to fight him.  She could just be a good girl and no one would know.  His fingers tightened and she grew weak. "Doesn't matter who you talk to or ask for Prissy Missy. This is going MY way." furious spit dripped from his lips.  His breath was sour and jagged


"This is death." she thought to herself. "It comes slowly, darkly and I will sleep.  Sleep at peace with no more pain. Here in the dark. Forever and ever. Amen." Her vision became fuzzy, thick and black around the edges.  She felt safer closing her eyes and at last there was a stop from the pain. finally she heard it. "My Baby. Don't go."


The shadows in the house shifted. There was a scream in the night but it was Halloween so no one paid attention to it.


There was a warmth around her, soothing and strong. "I'm dead?"


"My baby. Don't go" came a voice soft and pleading.  


She opened her eyes. "Daddy?"


Nearby sat Paddy. He was alive but could not speak. Would not. He sat staring at Missy rocking back and forth as paramedics loaded him in to a "safety van" and took him away.  


Missy's dad stroked her hair and hugged her close. "How did you know?"  


"You didn't come back. The girls called and told me what you'd all done. Awww Missy you're so lucky. I'm so lucky.  You shouldn't have done this. Oh Sweetie."  He gathered his baby in his arms and held her.  He cried softly in her hair. "I couldn't lose my best girl"


"Someone saved me tonight Dad."


He pulled back and held her face. "That couldn't be truer. Do you know who?"


The woman who died in this house.


"No." he said abruptly and stood.


"Dad. It's true. She was looking for her baby. Her name was Cooper and she lost her baby and she..."


"I know this stupid story. It's crap Melissa Carol and you are weak, tired and in shock. Let's finish up and go home."


"It happened Daddy. I know what I saw. What I heard."


"Missy, you are confused."


"No Dad. I'm not."


The officer came and gave them a meeting time for the morning. Her dad ushered her to the car and pulled the blanket around her. She closed her eyes.


"She's lucky Mr. Brendel."


"I know it. She knows better than to do what she did."


" Aww she's a good girl. Her mom would be proud.  So would the rest of the Coopers."


Missy's dad ducked and peeked at his daughter, grateful that she had fallen asleep.  The introduction to her mother would have to wait.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The right side of wrong

I had been banned from it. I missed it yet I understood why I could not do it anymore. April Fool's Day. As so many of you know, I am not permitted to participate in the pranks played on this wonderful,fun day.  Many years ago, eighteen as we have calculated and documented in my sworn affidavit where I proclaim I shall never partake in such shenanigans, I scared the poop out of my then fiancee. I was banned from it.  But time heals all wounds. Right?


Well it has to a degree.  There is the joke where I hid reader cards I had collected for more than six months in my husband's magazine. This is cute but when you take in to consideration that it took him a YEAR to pick up the damn thing to discover it....it makes it FABULOUS.  


Then there was the time, very very early one morning; it was dark as pitch.  He had gone out to futz in the garden.  I simply walked out (I DID NOT SNEAK) and crouched near the swing set. Hiding in plain sight.  And I waited.  He sauntered right passed me and I let him get to the most open part of the yard when I began to run right up behind him never uttering a word. The word is terror and I saw it. Baaaahaahhahahahahaha I think he might have tinkled a little.


But that is not to say I have not been justly had.  Of course you all know about the Christmas Oranges.  Everyone is always giving me great ideas.  We have had them served in restaurants, wrapped as gifts, put in shoes, jacket pockets, gas tanks... countless adventures for the little oranges known as "Cuties"  And let's not forget when I was outside at the farthest corner of the yard trying to weed one of the flowerbeds when my husband set free a Bellagio style water works festival from our sprinkler system.  I began to run for the house but slipped, falling like a Muppet and in the grass. 


Ahhhhhh good times.


So I find it now to be ironic that Saturday night I raised my glass to my darling,caring husband and said "To no April Fools."


"None."


"We aren't allowed to do that right?"


"You are not."


"And you?"


"I will not."


Nuff said,


So I went about my weekend. I enjoyed myself. I loved my family.  


I was a fool. A damn fool. I didn't notice it right away.  In fact, it took me until Monday morning and getting dressed in my closet to figure it out.  I slipped into my shirt and fumbled with the buttons.  Really fumbled.  What the Hell?  My shirt was wrong side out.  Ah well I must have done that when I hung it up to dry. Stupid woman.  Then I reached for my pants. Wrong side out.  And I saw. They were ALL wrong side out. Every single garment in my closet.  At first I thought perhaps I had really slipped during laundry in the last couple of weeks but I turned slowly and discovered my adoring, dreamboat of a husband's clothes were perfect. Crisp and best of all right side out.  I tugged my sweater and put it on.  I went to my drawer to get some socks.  Ohhhhh yes. Those too were all flipped.  I was laughing now and he wandered in with his coffee.


"April is a good time". I said. 


"Yeah?" he began to grin.


"For fools." and we both began to hee haw.  He was dancing around hooting and almost crying


"I GOT YOU I GOT YOU AT LAST I FINALLY GOT YOU!!!!!!!"


So he began to relay the story about how he and the fruit of my loins had done this over the course of two days.  They got both closets. Jersey and Promises.  I hadn't noticed Promises because I hadn't gone in to my closet.  The clothes I'd worn were fresh from the wash. I had done them myself.


So I walked slowly out to the balcony where I sang a chorus of "Too Late to Apologize" and hollered for the kids.  "What is today's date?"


"APRIL SECOND" They yelled through their giggles.


"Goooooood because I have 364 days left to plot my revenge! You INFIDELS!!!!"


Ben piped up "Hey! I didn't even KNOW they did it here in Jersey."


I returned fire. "That's great Ben. I didn't know you did anything up at Promises....BUSTED!!!!!"


Maddie's comment?  "Why is it when we help Daddy we get in to more TROUBLE???"


Well, just so it's recorded somewhere: the ban has been lifted by default.  When Cheech shelled out allowance this week each evil gnome got money for the gag. Really?  Oh this is going to be DELICIOUS.


"Darling?" he asked through more laughter. "My loving wonderful wife?"


"Yes?" I asked "What is it you scheming snake that I thought I loved?"


"Your sweater is wrong side out."

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Friends

"So I heard about the big bash" her voice was tight and too sweet. 
Lynne cocked her head and looked at her new friend; a little puzzled. 


"Yeah, I don't know everyone, but at least some. More than I did six months ago, so it will be nice. She's nice you know." She tilted her head back and encircled her coffee cup.


Sandra took too long a drink and smirked.  "Actually, I DO know and you are very wrong."


"Oh? She's always been so nice to me. It's been hard to get to know people, but she's gone out of her way..."


"Oh I'll just BET." Sandra rolled her eyes.  They flashed  bright green and she reached across the table gently patting the arm of her gal pal.  "I hate to tell tales, but this one is warranted.  I'd hate for you to get hurt or worse.  We are friends and I care about you." she pulled away and took another sip.  Twiddling her thumbs around the cup, she chose her words carefully for Lynne. These things were delicate.
"Well, she SEEMS concerned and kind, but you really should be careful of what you say and do around her. The person she shows is vastly different from the one she is."


It was Lynne's turn to raise her eyebrows and be surprised. "Really? I hadn't gotten that impression. Diana has always taken the time to make me feel comfortable.  This transition hasn't been easy. Why do you say that? I didn't even know you two knew each other."


Sandra snorted. "Doesn't mention me? Well I'm not surprised. We used to be good friends. Now? Not so much. She's a bitch." The last words were slow and filled with venom and they clicked from her lips.


"OH! Well, at least you hide your feelings well San. I can't see that. I'll say it again.  She's been nice to me.  I like her."


"Nice. Yes. I'd be very cautious of that. She is one of those back stabbing people who is kind as long as she needs something or perceives she can get something FROM you. Be very careful my friend." She watched Lynne struggle with this.  "I don't mean to poo poo the party or the possibility of a good time.  I'm sure you will have a ball.  But she won't be able to wait to talk about it and she WILL have lots to say; about everyone and everything. So just...." and she shrugged her shoulders and flipped a crooked sad smile.  "If you decide not to go, you can always give me a call.  We can go out and paint the town our OWN color. Whatever you decide I'm sure will be best."  and like the sun that slipped out from behind a cloud, Sandra changed the topic and shifted gears.


The conversation was now light and fun, moving on to a weekend that Lynne had proposed she and Sandra take up at her lake house.  Lynne preferred it this way.  She enjoyed the Sandy that listened and laughed about her moving to a new part of the country.  She loved how they giggled about the nuances of getting around town or experiencing the natives. She was excited about sharing her lake house with her new buddy but the strange conversation about Diana had her troubled.  She would have to ask Will when she got home.


"Did Sandy and Diana know each other?" she began shortly after coming home from her lunch date.  Will sighed and looked up from his book.  


"Ahhhh. I wondered when you would be privy to that." He un-propped his knees and opened his arms to welcome her next to him.  Lynne sat down and snuggled up, placing a light kiss on his mouth.  she was so happy that she'd come with him.  It was nerve wracking and frightening but when they were together, it all made sense and seemed right. 


"So? Dish up Baby." she squeezed his knee and sat back.


"Seems to me that they were thick as thieves at one time.  I don't know many of the details but I know that Sandy doesn't like her.  I believe the word "despises" is not inappropriate.  Diana has never uttered a single bad word.  I've even asked flat out.  she just smiles it off, pays Sandy some sort of compliment and moves on.  It's really weird."


Lynne looked at Will for a long moment. "That's all you've got? That's the big scoop? She pays Sandra a compliment and moves on? Whoa. I don't know how you kept it all hidden away in the depths of your heart for so long.  You are strong my dear. Strong."  and she smiled poking his side.  He raised his eyebrows and went back to his book.  She tucked her legs up underneath her and took her own from the table. The afternoon was lost to comfortable silence and cat naps.


She did not begin to get nervous until they were in the parking lot.  It crept under her clothes and prickled her skin.  she shivered in the warm afternoon sun.  


"You all right?" Will asked taking her hand.  


"Sure.  Nothing like being in a fish bowl." she sighed, trying to collect her nerves.


"It's fine.  She's the same woman you've met and enjoyed dinner with. Forget about rumors and what you don't know. You girls worry too much."


"And you guys couldn't care less." she huffed again and smoothed her dress.  


The restaurant was crowded.  They managed to make it back to the private room and began to mingle.  It wasn't long before her nerves had settled.  She found herself relaxed and enjoying the company of the the very scarlet letter about whom she had been warned.  Diana sought her out, hugged her warmly and seemed genuine with her words of "I'm really glad you came."  There was an easiness with her and the two women continued to share good times well into the night.  The laughter and wine flowed.


"So Di...tell me...." came a high pitched cackle.  The two almost friends turned to see another party goer, Joan swaying to the loud music.  "I notice that Sandy isn't here. What a shame that is.  You guys were friends right?"  Joan knew this but everyone knew that Joan suffered from diarrhea of the mouth and her infection commonly flared at parties, running rampant for days after.


Lynn instinctively stepped back from the comment and watched closely as Diana smiled.  "I couldn't agree more Joan. It IS a shame that Sandy isn't here.  She has the BEST sense of humor this side of the river.  She's a firecracker and so much fun to be around. I miss her. " She looked Joan in the eye and waited for more.


"What happened to you two? You were thick as thieves and now she can't wait to talk bad about you.  She says some awful things." Joan took a long drink and stared at her opponent over the top of her glass.


"Choices made." Diana said and turned back to Lynne.  "You look great in that color.  It really does a lot for your eyes.  You minx." they laughed.


Joan wasn't about to give up.  "Awww Diana, I've been meaning to ask. Have you had work done?  Your cleavage is FABULOUS." She cocked her hip and toyed with the bottom of her wine glass.


"No... I haven't Joan, but thanks for noticing." Lynne chuckled uncomfortably. "I figure I need to get them out and noticed before gravity sets in and I have to tuck them in my pants. Ohh and that reminds me, wasn't your birthday last week?" Diana turned, sipped from her cup and winked.  "I'll see you later Joanie. Love to the kids." and with that she turned and slowly made her way into the sea of other guests, leaving Joan alone with her own embarrassment and a softly smiling Lynne. Joan turned to glower at the new comer.


"What? Joan snapped, her smile looking nothing but snide and vicious.


"ummmm Happy Birthday?" Lynne shrugged and turned asking a passing waitress quickly where the ladies' room was.


Diana met her at the doorway.  "Hey. I'm sorry.  That was uncalled for, but I just don't like to be cornered like that.  I hope I didn't upset you. You're such a nice addition to this group.  I'd really like to be friends."


Lynne touched her arm and smiled warmly at the words. "I've always been fond of the dark side Lynne and me too. I'd like to be friends."


The two seemed to sigh collectively; a decision reached, an agreement so to speak.  Lynne ventured downstairs through the restaurant to the restroom.  


 While in the stall, she heard a couple of women come in.  They were laughing and cackling; really ripping it up. 


"She just stood there."


"Ohhhh no. Well, I don't like to talk out of class, but she seems to be socially....clumsy."


"She'll never fit in.  Do you even like her?"


"She's okay. Tedious but I tolerate her I guess."


"She's as much fun as a wet sock."


"No kidding but we need SOMEONE to laugh at. WITH I mean WITH!"
They giggled cruelly and snorted. 


 Lynne waited a minute making sure her shoes were free from toilet paper and her dress wasn't tucked into her Spanx. She opened the door and stepped out to see Sandra and Joan leaning on the sink clinking their wine glasses.  Sandra nearly choked seeing Lynn step out of the stall.


"Heyyyyy Lynnie! Nice to see you." Sandra smiled.  Her face drained of color."I was just sitting down to cocktails and saw Joan here. We're old friends you know."


Lynne stood at allowed their words to hang awkwardly in the air.


"Enjoying the party?" Joan stumbled.


"More now than before Ladies."


"I hope you didn't think we were talking about YOU ...." Sandra started.


"Me? Talk about me? Now why would you do that?  You said you were my friend; right after you were invited to my lake house. That would be ...mean. And after all San, you only want to look out for your friends, right?" 


Lynne stepped passed them and headed back to the party. she shook her head as she heard them begin to whisper before the door even closed.  She climbed the steps and smiled re-entering the party.  She looked through the crowd for her friend.

The Lady with the Lantern

 When the fire gets low and the voices quiet, she always comes up.  The lady with the lantern.  Now the stories often vary: She lost her bab...