The right side of wrong

I had been banned from it. I missed it yet I understood why I could not do it anymore. April Fool's Day. As so many of you know, I am not permitted to participate in the pranks played on this wonderful,fun day.  Many years ago, eighteen as we have calculated and documented in my sworn affidavit where I proclaim I shall never partake in such shenanigans, I scared the poop out of my then fiancee. I was banned from it.  But time heals all wounds. Right?


Well it has to a degree.  There is the joke where I hid reader cards I had collected for more than six months in my husband's magazine. This is cute but when you take in to consideration that it took him a YEAR to pick up the damn thing to discover it....it makes it FABULOUS.  


Then there was the time, very very early one morning; it was dark as pitch.  He had gone out to futz in the garden.  I simply walked out (I DID NOT SNEAK) and crouched near the swing set. Hiding in plain sight.  And I waited.  He sauntered right passed me and I let him get to the most open part of the yard when I began to run right up behind him never uttering a word. The word is terror and I saw it. Baaaahaahhahahahahaha I think he might have tinkled a little.


But that is not to say I have not been justly had.  Of course you all know about the Christmas Oranges.  Everyone is always giving me great ideas.  We have had them served in restaurants, wrapped as gifts, put in shoes, jacket pockets, gas tanks... countless adventures for the little oranges known as "Cuties"  And let's not forget when I was outside at the farthest corner of the yard trying to weed one of the flowerbeds when my husband set free a Bellagio style water works festival from our sprinkler system.  I began to run for the house but slipped, falling like a Muppet and in the grass. 


Ahhhhhh good times.


So I find it now to be ironic that Saturday night I raised my glass to my darling,caring husband and said "To no April Fools."


"None."


"We aren't allowed to do that right?"


"You are not."


"And you?"


"I will not."


Nuff said,


So I went about my weekend. I enjoyed myself. I loved my family.  


I was a fool. A damn fool. I didn't notice it right away.  In fact, it took me until Monday morning and getting dressed in my closet to figure it out.  I slipped into my shirt and fumbled with the buttons.  Really fumbled.  What the Hell?  My shirt was wrong side out.  Ah well I must have done that when I hung it up to dry. Stupid woman.  Then I reached for my pants. Wrong side out.  And I saw. They were ALL wrong side out. Every single garment in my closet.  At first I thought perhaps I had really slipped during laundry in the last couple of weeks but I turned slowly and discovered my adoring, dreamboat of a husband's clothes were perfect. Crisp and best of all right side out.  I tugged my sweater and put it on.  I went to my drawer to get some socks.  Ohhhhh yes. Those too were all flipped.  I was laughing now and he wandered in with his coffee.


"April is a good time". I said. 


"Yeah?" he began to grin.


"For fools." and we both began to hee haw.  He was dancing around hooting and almost crying


"I GOT YOU I GOT YOU AT LAST I FINALLY GOT YOU!!!!!!!"


So he began to relay the story about how he and the fruit of my loins had done this over the course of two days.  They got both closets. Jersey and Promises.  I hadn't noticed Promises because I hadn't gone in to my closet.  The clothes I'd worn were fresh from the wash. I had done them myself.


So I walked slowly out to the balcony where I sang a chorus of "Too Late to Apologize" and hollered for the kids.  "What is today's date?"


"APRIL SECOND" They yelled through their giggles.


"Goooooood because I have 364 days left to plot my revenge! You INFIDELS!!!!"


Ben piped up "Hey! I didn't even KNOW they did it here in Jersey."


I returned fire. "That's great Ben. I didn't know you did anything up at Promises....BUSTED!!!!!"


Maddie's comment?  "Why is it when we help Daddy we get in to more TROUBLE???"


Well, just so it's recorded somewhere: the ban has been lifted by default.  When Cheech shelled out allowance this week each evil gnome got money for the gag. Really?  Oh this is going to be DELICIOUS.


"Darling?" he asked through more laughter. "My loving wonderful wife?"


"Yes?" I asked "What is it you scheming snake that I thought I loved?"


"Your sweater is wrong side out."