Poor Winston.
Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed.
My little piglet didn't ASK for a bad day, it just found him.
It began simply enough. He got up, had breakfast, ate cookies and went back to bed. Any dog would agree this was right and just. But then he got up from his morning nap and all Hell broke loose. His sister was paroled first, promptly rushing over to his cage, biting his face and floppy ears and stealing all his toys right out of his cell. What a bitch. He wasn't even OUT yet. But he stepped out, stretched and did what any "man" would do, scratched himself. Nice Buddy! ~ but next time please don't drop to your belly and pull yourself with your front paws AAAAAALL around my rug; the junk express. Fabulous. But he was simply trying to begin again.
Later that afternoon, Cheech needed to power wash. WELL! No one asked Winston if that was all right. He made it perfectly clear that it was not. He went insane; biting, snarling, bristling at the water. I did what any good mother would do. I opened the door. He dashed down the steps and skidded to a stop in front of the big ugly water monster. Cheech did what any good dad would do: hosed him down from top to bottom. Winston went crazy. We were all laughing and carrying on until he came inside to escape "the Kracken" and proceeded to rub himself all over the couch, shake and shower us all... I can't really complain, we asked for it.
Next came chores. Now Winston hates anything that connects with the floor: vacuums, brooms, mops...etc.. so he next had to save his castle from the evil red broom that was attempting to gobble up my kitchen floor. He circled the kitchen table, snapped at it and then ran around to hide behind the sofa. Now once again, being a good mommy, I of course swooped it up over the couch to attack him from the top. I thought he was going to poop on the carpet. He did not. I was lucky, but to add insult to injury, I pulled out the mop.
He was beside himself. And of COURSE I had to push the little button to make the floor dragon spit at him. It was just too much. He jumped on it and bit it. REALLY bit it, pulling away chuffing and shaking his head. I knew deep down what he'd done. He took off and hid behind my chair. I felt really bad. I went and got him and lifted his little lip. Sure enough he had BENT his tooth forward: roots and all. Instead of hanging down, it stuck straight out. Any air hitting it caused him a lot of pain but I couldn't get in to his mouth to pull it.
It's all fun and games until some one gets hurt: then it's just fun.
Noooo... I am a better mom than that. I helped him and it came out but it took two days. Relief at last. So my precious little piglet had had enough. All he wanted was to eat dinner and go to bed. But noooo... He did the first and went outside to do business. He came in... with a tick... on his... uhhhhh....bum. Was there to be no rest for the weary? Soooo I was a good mom wincing and hissing " ewww gross!" only a dozen times to remove the disgusting parasite.
He came and sat with me; sighing heavily, sadly. Poor guy. It took him about a week to stop being in my shadow and even now, he's still pretty close.
I swept, mopped and vacuumed yesterday. Winston climbed up on my bed and hid under all the pillows. Can you blame him?
Monsters are everywhere.
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