Who's life

She thought she had used up all her tears but as the time drew near, fresh waves came along with the wretched memories.  Her body seemed to twitch in agony with each ticking minute.  Kerri paced and rubbed her hands.  Her stomach lurched and she threw up again.  All she could do was wait.  It was simple torture.  She showered for the third time and dressed.  She did not apply make up because she understood now it would only wash away.  The only thing that would stay was the pain and the honest words "I'm sorry."  She drove on auto- pilot, arriving more than thirty minutes early.   She thought perhaps maybe there would be some magical sign she would see that would change everything.  There wasn't.  She reached in her pocketbook and rubbed the papers.  They told it all.  More tears. More pain.  It was becoming unbearable.  She had nothing left; and she had forgotten how to hope.  She sipped from a water bottle.  It tasted like salt and she gagged. Kerri closed her eyes and prayed.  She begged Him for safety in the toughest end to a journey she'd not asked to take.  She scolded Him and banged her steering wheel demanding answers...well, just one...why?  She shook those papers at Him and sobbed so hard that the windows fogged.  She was distracted for a few minutes by drawing hearts on the glass.  Then, with a stuttered breath dragged her trembling body from her car and willed herself to walk up the steps; disappearing into the worst but only solution she had left.

He threw things together in an anxious rush.  He hadn't seen his daughter in what felt like an eternity and when they had been together they fought.  It was harsh and angry; the kind of argument that was silly but neither would back down, so it had become an elephant in the room.  He had to accept her choices, her decisions for it was ultimately her life.   He'd had to leave her and she had simply let him.  His heart was pounding and his hands shook.  Although he had business to attend before he could actually see her, his mind was racing, grabbing at words to say to her.  He muttered to his clothes how he'd been wrong to ruin their short time together; that he would never do it again.  For the first time, (Kerri would have been pleasantly surprised to hear) he was not interested in the rally.  He didn't want to be there.  He wanted to work on her and mending their relationship.  Since her mother died, she was all he had.  Any father would do this; want this.  It would be an awkward surprise, but he was certain they would put it all behind them.  He patted his pocked for tickets:  a flight, and a show after they had a nice dinner together.  It would be all right.  He sighed somewhat nervously, said goodbye to his home, heading out.  


Arriving a few minutes late, he met the usuals and they laughed; made tasteless jokes and talked nervously.  He gave out information and instructed them once again how it was to work.  They all knew their rolls and responsibilities.  He hoped this would move quickly and he could drive down the road to see her.  He glanced at his watch figuring she was still in bed.  She loved to sleep late.  She had scheduled her classes so she could get up slowly.  He smiled softly remembering her bed head and hearing in his heart her small sleepy footsteps as she shuffled out to share coffee with him.  He clapped a friend on the back and they moved out.  They didn't have far to walk. And he waited.


Her body was numb but her mind was shrieking and there were still more tears.  The nurse brought her tea and checked her blood pressure.  "Crackers?" She handed the papers back to the young girl.


Kerri stared at the floor, not hearing her.  She was remembering the tearing pain as he ripped at her clothes and the suffocating stink of mud and leaves as they were crammed into her mouth.  She was thinking of the contempt with which he took her body; beating and molesting her until she had passed out from pain and disbelief. She thought of how she had peed red for days and had to feel around her apartment because her eyes were too swollen to see. Her nights were filled with muddy nightmares and screams. Then that horrible day that she had realized she was pregnant.  She sucked in her breath at the plus sign on her pee wand; taking fifteen more to be sure.  She thought of how she had begun to hate her body and life itself because of the horrible seed inside her.  Kerri concluded only one of them could survive.  She drifted out as did the nurse.  When the meds wore off, she finally dressed and replaced her sunglasses, pulling the hood up around her face.  With shaky breath and weak knees she stood at the door with her medications, and her papers.  She banged them in her hand and pushed the door open; instantly berated with boo's and shouts.  Bile raced into her mouth.  New tears spilled down her cheeks as she tried to move down the walk.  Her car seemed to be parked on the other side of the world.  Jeers and calls stung her ears and as the bibles were stuck under her nose, she ducked and dodged feeling the edge of her sanity beginning to peel off like sunburned skin.  Then there was a "pop" and her belly began to burn.  She could no longer walk.  She sank to her knees.  At first, no one knew she had been shot.  The protesters thought she'd had an epiphany and that they were going to get to save her; until her blood began to spill on them.  They recoiled, touched only now by crimson tears.  She looked up at shadowy faces, hearing the word "whore" cast at her like a stone.  She reached up and for the last time spoke.


Hearing the shouting and seeing the crowd surge forward, he knew someone had just come out.  He was still at the back of the crowd when the gun went off.  He was stunned.  Shoving through the peaceful people who only wanted to help, he found the young woman crumpled on the walk and grabbed at her belly.  He screamed for spectators to get help. The small woman's face was covered with a hood and dark glasses.  Typical.  He pushed on her belly and told her she would be all right.  Softly, she reached for him, tucking the stained police report and the medical exams in his hands.  The voice was gentle and familiar.


"Who's life did you save today Daddy?"






I hope you enjoy the story if not the topic.  I know that it can be powerful and argument provoking which is not the purpose.  I'm glad you came over, as always and look forward to more time together.