GREMLINS

I know you have them. YOU know you have them. Hell, I have them.  Gremlins; the ones who take the blame for stuff that gets broken, dirty, ruined or altered in some way that is displeasing from its original condition. My house is currently overrun with them and they had one WHALE of a party last night
How do I know? Well because this morning when I woke up the toilet paper dispenser in the kids' bathroom was crumpled on the floor. Who did it?

smile and mutter with me:  IIIIIIII dunnnnooooooo

The kids' rooms were completely destroyed by these thoughtless brutes: clothes out of the dressers, off hangers; in piles (dirty or clean? Who firetrucking KNEW) papers, school stuff, games...OH DEAR LORD! Those naughty beasts had had a FIELD day in my home~

I found schnippits of paper had been helplessly dragged into the hall accompanied by ink from my son's fountain pen on my carpet (green to be truthfull, fabulous green)

Toothpaste had been squirted angrily into the sink...NOT USED mind you just farted right in to it and left to dry. Perhaps they were trying to sign their name? Send me a warning like Lassie...
"What? The sherriff is tied up and the jail is burning down??"

 Wash rags? Left crumpled and soggy in the corner of the tub one still cradling a bar of Zest. (Note: Zest melts faster in water than any other soap.  It becomes a doughy, fresh scented goo ball in these damp conditions...just so you know.)

  Towels TOWELS???? weeeelll Lemme tell YOU that they were in a heap peeking at me around the corner. I think there was a gremlin or two left in there because I swear to you I heard a growl.  Maybe Winston just got lost in there.  He hasn't been out in a while......

Who's is this? NOOOOOT MIIIIINE

Who left this here? NOT MEEEEE

So being the completely unreasonable and "stinky" mom, I of course took it out on the most innocent children I could find; my own.  Can you believe it? I made them wash, scrub, fold, and pitch all that "Gremlin poop" that was left around. They had to work for almost forty five minutes in the bathroom ALONE.  At least I have Kaboom foam for them to use: it tells you when everything is all clean by changing colors. Whew! I mean really, let's be thankful for small gifts, eh?

When they were done at last having helped me spackle and rehang the toilet paper thingie, we sat and looked around.  All was nice and neat; in its place...lovely. Gremlin free.

Mom?

Yes?
I sighed gently patting the youngest gremlin's head.

Why can't the house look this good all the time?

I duuuunooooooo...was all I could say but it struck me funny.


Enjoy the game tonight. We have quite a feast planned.

Until next time; be good to yourself and thanks for popping in to see me.